Josh's First Day of School and Intro to Danny's Classroom

Today started off great, with a pancake breakfast, and skyping with both sets of grandparents. It is the morning of Josh’s first day back to school. This year he is at the same school as last year, but now he is the “big kid” in school and in the oldest class. What a different perspective this is for him than last year. He has many friends that will be returning and he is already familiar with his teacher and the school.

After we eat, I take pictures of Josh before we go…he so sweetly asks Danny to come to school with him and into his classroom (it was so sweet that I did not point out the fact that since Danny does not start school until tomorrow, he has no choice but to have Danny come with us J ). We take our golf cart and head down the road to school. We arrive and it is so nice to see all the teachers and staff welcoming Josh back. Josh’s teacher tells us how his good friend Fitz was waiting for him and asking for him all day yesterday (I kept Josh home the first day so he could start on a half day of school—Josh will have three afternoon programs—cooking on Monday, swimming on Wednesday and Music on Friday—he had swimming last year, but we felt he was ready for the other additional days). Josh put his bag away and he and Danny headed to the slide and ball pit they have in the open play area. We were not there long when his two friends, Fitz and Annabelle arrived. It was so cute to see them reunite--they were truly joyful to see one another. It made me feel so good about leaving him there for the school day.

After saying our good-byes, Danny and I headed to the bank and the bakery for more bread. It was fun to just spend the morning with Danny and myself. We headed home after our errands for me to try and give Danny a haircut. I have begun giving him haircuts here in China as they are never consistent when I pay someone else to do it. I had brought Danny to a hair place before we left Indianapolis, but apparently I did not ask for enough off, as it still looks like it is thick and hot. Danny suffered through the long ordeal of me cutting his hair, and I was actually quite pleased with my handy work. We spent a little time reading and then headed off to the restaurant to meet everyone for lunch.

I did not realize it was such a huge group, but it was a lot of fun. The group was made up of women and their children that attend our church. There were a lot of our friends there, and some new people that are just moving into the area. Danny was a little overwhelmed by the group at first, but I brought him over to where his friend Matthew was sitting and playing, and they quickly bonded all over again. They decided to sit on the opposite side of where many of the children were sitting. The other boys must have liked this idea, because within minutes they had joined Matthew and Danny on that side of the room. I was totally impressed with the service of the restaurant (service is NOT a strength of China) and how they quickly got everyone’s drinks and food. After quickly eating while visiting, I left to grab Josh from school and bring him back. I arrived to get him at 1pm and they looked at me like what are you doing—turns out his day does not end until 1:30 on his short days. I still had the schedule from last year. They kindly allowed Josh to leave early, as I had planned to have him nap before I left with Danny to his school at 2. Josh and I raced back to the restaurant, and we visited for a few more minutes before we all left. We were able to get home and have a much desired lollipop snack and read some books before Josh went up for a nap and Danny and I left for his school.

Danny school has made some changes, and the main one I would say is the color they painted the walls…it is a bright and I mean BRIGHT yellow. So, this was a little bit of a shock as we entered the building. We quickly recovered though and headed down to his new classroom. Danny was just brimming with excitement. He is so thrilled he is a Kindergartner this year! His teacher and teacher assistant greeted us and we explored his classroom. Both teachers were both very sweet, and I am really excited for Danny. She had many students stopping in to say hello and give hugs (that is allowed here in China, unlike the US where it is now such a huge no-no. I was actually surprised to see it happen last year, but now I am back to thinking why on earth are we so crazy over this issue?) I felt this was such a wonderful sign of the type of teacher she is in her classroom! We looked at his schedule of his day and Danny just lit up over the idea that he now has science class, art in the art room, and drama at the end of the day. There is of course math, reading and writing and Chinese class, but he had those last year, so it was not as thrilling. J I am really looking forward to this year for the boys, and just know already that they are going to grown and mature so much!!

As Dustin had to work late tonight, we gave him a call so Danny could share the exciting news of science class. ;) We ended the evening with the boys and I eating spaghetti leftovers (I over estimated how many noodles and sauce I needed yesterday, we are good on spaghetti for quite a few meals to come). We enjoyed talking and sharing about the exciting parts of the day and then heading to bed to prepare for another exciting day!

Meeting New Friends and Entertaining Colleagues

Today was filled to the max. I left the boys with my ayi and ran to Carrefour (as I have learned in the 2 years of living here, Do Not Take the Children Here!, as everyone stares and or tries to touch the children’s faces or hair). So, I left as early as I could to run my errands and left them in the skilled hands of Hong Li and a Curious George video (TV shows we bought and brought here with us). My trip needed to fit into a short period of time, yet I needed a lot of things. Not only items for our family, but also food for a lunch I was making that day for friends, and food for dinner I was making for Dustin and two of his colleagues. Finally, I needed to find a new showerhead, as literally the water this morning was just trickling down--not sure what happened over the summer to it, but a trickle is not going to work. I was so proud of how I whipped around the store and even ran to the BQ (similar to home depot, but not as good) to grab my shower head.

I got home and had about an hour before I told Lindsay that it was okay to arrive. Our lunch today was with my good friend Lindsay and her children and a mother we had both been emailing over the summer , who just moved to Shanghai for the first time. She was bringing her two little girls with her today.

I quickly moved into high gear to get the salad ready for the moms (children were going to be just having hot dogs and mac n cheese, so that was simple) Bless her, Lindsay offered to bring something, and I quickly assigned her dessert. The best part of the preparation for our friends arriving was how Danny helped me get ready. (Josh was good too as he went off and played while I ran around the kitchen--sometimes just the offer to remain out of the way is such a huge blessing :) ). Danny asked if he could help me numerous times. I know other parents will realize this actual big accomplishment of Danny here…he has moved from helping and it really just slowing me down, but I want him to learn, so I have him help me, to the point where he helps and it is a great service and help to me. I was so excited and so thrilled for him for how much he has matured and grown up. He is such a sweet guy and I really appreciated the extra help he gave me!

Lindsay and her children arrived first and this was so nice, as we had some time to just visit ourselves. I find that once school starts it is hard for her and I to connect and have that time one on one. (Her children go to the British school--this is fairly common here that some American families end up in the British school system here, but it leaves us and the kids on different schedules).

Our new friend arrived and she was just as sweet as her e-mails. Her two children were shy at first, but then slowly warmed up to our brood of kids (Lindsay has 3 children). In talking with her it brought back such a flood of memories. Her children are the exact same age my boys were when we moved here. She is full throttle into the time of happy exploration, and the overwhelming parts of daily life here. She has two blond children, and her youngest has the most gorgeous blue eyes. This of course has brought them the same crazy attention we received. Plus she said she has brought their double stroller, which does not obviously exist here with their one child policy, so I am sure she gets a lot of attention pushing that stroller. The good news is she has access to her driver fairly frequently, so this should help her settle into life a lot easier. I truly look forward to getting together with her again and getting to know her more.

Once all our friends left, I put Josh down for a much needed nap and grabbed a cup of coffee and sat on the sofa with Danny. I was exhausted! Of course we had not sat there long when I received a text from Dustin saying they would be early. So, I quickly drank my cup of coffee and swung back into gear. I prepared the bruschetta I was making for an appetizer and then worked on making the spaghetti sauce (Dustin and I decided we would keep it simple, which has also turned into my new mantra of entertaining…simple easy food that everyone enjoys). I of course had forgotten to get the meat out of the freezer, so I quickly put it into a water bath and was so grateful to God that it defrosted and I was able to complete the sauce before they arrived.

Dustin’s colleagues were very nice (we had met one, but our family had not met his other colleague). I went up to get Joshua from his nap and the poor guy was exhausted (still trying to get over that jet lag). He just clung to me. Then, once I got him unglued from me, (remember I am trying to pull of a dinner party--even if it is with just spaghetti I had still things to complete) Josh just sat in the kitchen with me. Finally, I was able to get him to sit with me on the sofa between Dustin and one of the new colleagues. He warmed up about half way through dinner, and by the end of dinner was dancing to the music Dustin put on—his normal self.

Overall, it was a great day back into our life here in China—filled with friends, new friends, and entertaining visitors. Now tomorrow we have Josh starting school a lunch out with friends and more new people moving into the area, and Danny meeting his teacher and seeing his classroom. Should be another great day!

Making the Transition Back to Shanghai

Had the most wonderful summer with family and friends! We are so truly blessed by our family. They continually worked their schedules around for us so we could spend the maximum time with them while we were home. So sweet and lovely! My boys so enjoyed spending time with their grandparents and Aunts and Uncles, but most of all with their cousins, who they consider to be their best friends. It fills me with such joy to see them all getting along so well. I was blessed with similar relationships growing up with my cousins, and prayed my boys would have this same closeness. It is so wonderful to see them play with them all.

The hard part of this summer was that Danny was one year older, and therefore truly able to understand what it means to head back to China and say goodbye for now to our family and friends. While there was anger and tears, I was so proud of how he was able to fairly quickly redirect these emotions to looking forward to our life in China and looking forward to when we return to the States to see everyone again at Christmas time.

I think the part of living here that astounds me the most is how separate our lives at home in the US and our home in China feels to us. I truly feel like I have to switch gears going from one location to another because life in both places is so widely different from each other. The differences span from the appearances of our surrounding to the way of life, to the simple fact that in China we are separate physically from family and friends back home, and when in the US we are separated most usually from Dustin and then also from what has become our surrogate family here in China--our China friends (mostly from our expat community and church community here).

I must say the transition is a little like you having to flip a light switch…of course you have a 14-15 hour flight to do that flipping in, so it is not too bad. By the time we were arriving here this time the boys were excitedly talking about the upcoming school year and their friends and of course the most about seeing Dustin. When they awoke in the plane to land into Shanghai, they were literally jumping up and down (no worries…this was sitting down style jumping with their seatbelts on) in their seats and chanting “we’re going to see Dad, we’re going to see Dad.” So unbelievably cute!

We unloaded the plane and headed to security to be greeted with the fact that the man in security did not feel we qualified for the special lane (usually families get to go in this lane and speed up the process as the little ones are still really tired upon arriving). After smiling at the camera with our passports, we headed to baggage. (Chinese security requires them to look at each passport then ask you to look at them to make sure it is really you, and then you must smile into a camera…this of course is quite funny now as Josh’s passport picture is really a baby photo and Danny is about the age of Josh is now in his photo. I also have grown my hair long, so it is quite a leap for them to make).

At baggage, I usually have someone help me pull all the bags off the conveyor, but that evening no one was there. So, I lugged the 5 suitcases onto two carts myself, and had Danny help me push one. I then pushed the other cart, while pulling Josh in the stroller behind me. He fussed at first, but I explained he was being like Mater (Cars movie) who drives backwards a lot. We as always were a sight to behold. J We were of course greeted almost immediately by the worst part of Chinese society--the rudeness…while trying to push through the last security arches with the two carts and stroller. I cannot tell you how many Chinese people tried to push past us with their carts or rolling suitcases. All I could think was, you have got to be kidding me…you see a 5 year old (okay he looks like he is 8 because he is so tall, but that is still a young child) pushing a large cart that he can just barely control, and a mother pushing another cart and with her other free hand she is dragging a stroller loaded with a very tired toddler and you do not think to give them some room, or even more shockingly offer to help. Their total lack of awareness or care for others is to me one of the craziest and saddest part of their society. We made it through finally, and Dustin hopped over the line of people to help Danny with his cart. Unfortunately, it was out of security that I realized that I left a suitcase behind. We came with 6 not 5 bags. Thankfully it was not the situation I did on the way to the US, in which I left our suitcase at the end of our bed…yes the suitcase that contained all our clothes, toiletries and presents for everyone. Rather, I left it on the conveyor belt. Only problem is we’re in a communist country with tight security and a language barrier. Thank the Lord for my husband, who has master quite a bit of Mandarin, and he was able to explain what I did and that we needed to go get it. After a little stress, we got all the bags and headed home.

Amazingly I have managed to unpack everything already, however, I must say I will be spending the first weeks of the kids being back in school organizing my storage room and closets that hold all the food and crafts and random things we cannot buy here (or cost an obscene amount here) that we have brought from home and is just randomly stacked in there now.

Looking forward to this fall and getting back into the swing of things here. Promise to keep this blog going as well this year. J

Snow, Snow and more Snow

The coldest time in Shanghai in 3o years and now we are having record snowfall. The past couple of days have been quite interesting with Josh being so sick (rota virus) and all the snow. It has snowed here for the past three days, but mostly melted. The newspaper said it was suppose to end yesterday (although weather reporting here is quite suspect), but we woke this morning to three more inches, and it has not stopped snowing yet. This type of snow is quite rare as we are even with Houston, Texas, and like there the city is not prepared for this type of weather. Bless their soles, the guards and people that help garden the public areas of our subdivision were out shoveling snow with garden shovels and brooms, as there is nothing else to use. Drove Danny to school in the golf cart thinking the whole time that this was not what the vehicle was meant to do. Yet, it worked great. Josh and I even made it the little farther distance to the clinic to have him checked out. I feel so bad for the little guy and she said at least two more days with this rota virus. I will definitely have the Toy Story trilogy memorized by that point. We have watched it over and over this week. One blessing is I believe the rest of us will not get it as rota virus is usually only contagious for little ones like Josh.

Well, he has fallen asleep next to me, so I am off to carry the little guy up to his bed.

A New Year is Dawning

We are back in China after a fantastic time home this past Christmas. We are quickly approaching our 2 year anniversary, and Dustin has been given the green light (not full green, but 98% or so) to build the plant. Actually as I speak he is signing contracts. This of course means our time here in China will be the full time of 4 more years. As it streches out in front of us, I must admit it seems like a long time. Especially since in that time we will say goodby to many of our closest friends here. However, we do feel this is our rightful place and are so excited for what the boys will be able to learn this this time period.

I must say our schedule here now that Dustin is in full swing of getting the pieces in place for the plant, okay really our schedule most times here, was a shock in comparison to the blissful family time we had at Christmas. He is having to work long hours, and has not been able to be home most nights. He did a great father son day with Danny last Saturday and I can already see that this will be some great bonding time for the boys. One great blessing of Dustin's work is his ability to schedule in the kids school activities, like Danny's upcoming assembly where his class will be doing a song. It is an adjustment for us all as we get back into the swing of things. This is always tempered by the fact that in China you get back into the swing from Christmas, and then everyone is off for Chinese New Year. I do pray that the time afterwards will be an easier adjustment.

Dustin and I anticipated this time between Christmas and Chinese New Year would be insane, so we made the decision to travel for this Chinese New Year. It will be some good family time before we all hit the grind again!

This week has lead to some adjustments back, but also was thrown a little loop when Josh came down with the stomach bug on Sunday morning. It will hopefully leave him soon, and hopefully skip over the rest of us, as this next week and a half before we leave for Chinese New Year is packed full.

We have pictures being taken this Saturday, and we have friends coming over that are sadly leaving China on the 1st of Feb. Our family will really miss them as they are wonderful people, extremely down to earth and sweet, and their son is one of Danny's closest friends here. We were expecting them to leave in June, but they are having to leave early due to her health situation.

Overall, we are back into the life God has blessed us with here. We are so fortunate, and we are reminded of this wherever we look here. We look forward to see what God has in store for us personally here in China and for our family. May God bless you all!!

A look Back and a Look Forward..We are so Blessed

So I am finally getting back down to posting on here. I have spent the morning resting and sleeping and the last hour downloading pictures from my friend's picasso site of shots I did not get last year. It brought me back to pictures of last fall with Danny's birthday party with Alivia and a day trip down to the city with friends. It has brought such nostaliga to me, as many of the people in the pictures have graced our lives here in China, and have since moved back home or to new assignments, or will be very soon. I am so grateful for each one of them and realize that they played such a great role in my transition here to China and life in general. I was also amazed to see how much the children have changed in this past year. Danny has grown up so much and Josh has gone from a baby to a little boy. Yikes that is so crazy to me, as when we are in the daily part of it, it does not seem to go by that quickly.

The fall has brought us back to our home here and I am glad to say that with now living in the house rather than the apartment, I truly feel like we have a house. In addition, Danny started at the American School and it amazes me what a community this opened up to us. We now have sporting events and theater events opened up to us. We took in our first baseball game with the kids in September and it was so much fun. They even handed out cracker jacks. Danny was singing the Take me out to the Ball game song for the rest of the weekend.

Our other new thing this fall is that Josh started school. He began a little preschool with the hopes that he will learn Chinese. His class is called Chinese immersion--they speak in Chinese and then repeat in English until they completely get rid of the English. My wow moment was yesterday when I dropped him off to school. He was a little clingy to me, so his teacher began talking to him in Chinese and all of a sudden he was pulling out and then hiding again his hand in his jacket and smiling. She was playing hide and seek with his hand and he completely understood her in Chinese. Amazing and so exciting at the same time!!!

Finally, our other big change is that we no longer make the 2 hour trek to church down in the city. Shanghai authorized another location for the international church to be opened just 5-10minutes from our house. Praise the Lord (on numerous levels, not just the commute)! We now get to go to church with friends of ours and the children that Danny sees in school. We are really excited about it. The only down part is we do miss our friends Erin and Jeff that we would see each weekend at the other church.

Overall, we are plugging along and falling into place here in China. We feel settled and blessed here. We had a great 5th birthday celebration for Danny a couple of weeks back, and a great Halloween celebration as well. Looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving here with our friends here in China. Then just a few weeks and we will be in the great United States with our families. Love to you all...

Our Worst Day in China

Today is by far the worst day we have had in China. It brought to us the clearly inhumane treatment many of the Chinese people suffer on a daily basis. Our ayi, the lovely woman who comes to help me with the house and kids (very common here in China--see previous blogs) told us that she was pregnant. While normally this would be joyous news, in China it is not. This is because she is already a mother. She has a wonderful son who is 13 years old. In China you are only allowed one child. Therefore, she had to go to the doctor and have an abortion. This is nothing short of TORTURE!!!!

I, of course living in China and even before living here, was well aware of the one child policy that they have in place. However, it has taken knowing a person going through this pain to realize how messed up this policy is for the people of China. First, most people here desparately want more than one child. People actually look into ways to get around it, like getting a divorce because you can in some situations have another child legally when married again. Additionally, they are not given contraception or surgery to "tie their tubes" so a pregnancy would not occur. They are penalized for having a second child and penalized if they give that child up for adoption. Finally, they have to pay for the procedure to terminate the pregnancy.

I cannot imagine having to go through such torture and then have to pay for it as well. Insane!!! No wonder she told Dustin she was not only grieving the loss, but was angry.

Yet, with many things in China there is no place to funnel this anger. No representative, no courtroom to hear the case, no newspaper to write to about your injustice. Many Chinese have gotten very bold online where they have been able to be anonymous. Yet, I have read recently that China is trying to take that away. They won't shut down the site (although they have done that before), no they are seeking to take the anonymity away. This way China feels they can say, "Look our people are free to share their thoughts online jut like the rest of the world." What they won't say, but every Chinese person and hopefully the rest of the world knows, is that if there is someone disagreeing with the government, a couple of things may happen--they may disappear, they may be detained and "questioned" or they may be sent to be "reeducated" at a work camp (i.e.--the two elderly people that petitioned the government for something before the Olympics). No one is left complaining or voicing an opposing opinion for long, so taking away the anonymity of it, takes away the people's ability to complain or object to something.

There is not even a system of social assistance. Counseling. You can forget about it. It is a society that has been taught to suck it up and move on. In fact, I would go so far to say that they have to be careful to talk to anyone other than close family, because just regular venting about a subject could lead to one's detainment or worse. Therefore, most Chinese people are very reserved and rarely share their views on subjects, especially to outsiders like ourselves or even neighbors.

While forcing someone to take contraception or have their tubes tied is extremely invasive in a person's life and rights, it does in China's situation seem downright humane compared to the current method they impose. I personally would take this method over having to have an abortion every time I became pregnant during my reproductive years. How many abortions must a Chinese woman have to endure during her life?

Living in China we will obviously be faced with many heartbreaking and frustrating situations like this one (not being able to do something to directly solve it for our ayi and other woman), and while Dustin and I questioned how we could even work in a country like this one after hearing this news from our ayi. We are left with the fact that even in our small way, we are affecting China in a positive manner. We are living there, sharing our values and our views and whether we are in China or in the US we alway have the most powerful tool that God gives to each of us. Prayer. While I currently feel like storming into a building screaming about the injustice and torture that is occurring, I know my true power comes from me getting on my knees and bowing my head. It may seem like an ineffective method to some, but I can assure you that my life alone has been an example of the power of prayers and the answers from God. I will be praying daily for this issue as well as true freedom for the Chinese people. I ask each and everyone of you that reads this blog to please pray about this situation. Even a quick prayer (what I like to call a "flare prayer") is heard by God and answered.

Answers and change may not come quickly, but it will come. May God bless the Chinese people and their leaders. May God bless you and open all our eyes to the gift we have been given in living in the Western world, especially the United States of America.

My Eye...Here we go again

I woke Sunday with a weird white fuzzy spot at the bottom of my vision on my left eye. I felt it was odd and just like when the tingling/numbness started on my left side last year, I felt surely I was going crazy and just imagining thing. Yet, by Monday it was still present and after talking to a friend who is an opthamologist I had a little more information. If it moves around no big deal. If it remains the same, not so good. Unfortunately, I fall into the latter category. I sent a message to my neurologist at home, and set up an appointment with an opthamologist here, not really holding my breath though on the care here, but hoping for the best.

Tomorrow is Danny's day to go to his new school for the fall (American School--he is currently at an international pre-K school). It is a day for them to assess his readiness for their pre-K program and for the parents to get a tour of the school. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. He is not considered accepted to the school until he passes this part of the admissions requirement. Danny however, is so excited.

March Madness...and I Do Not Mean Bastketball!

So, I must say that I meant to cover March in more detail, but it was so crazy and absolutely overwhelming to us that putting one foot in front of the other is all we could manage to get through this month. It was by the shear grace of God that we survived it without any major nervous breakdowns. (Okay, I came close but the good Lord saw me through it and I learned that God supplies to us everything that we need in the moment and he will see us through to the next one). So what made it a month of Madness? It had to do with our new landlord, Dustin's work, Danny's teacher and general safety and etiquette here in China.

The month began of course with our move and more importantly, at least to understanding the madness...our introduction to our landlord. She is apparently the typical Chinese in that she is constantly negotiating, even everything which is clearly required of her in our contract. I say she is typical Chinese as this is what Dustin deals with on a daily basis. People constantly fighting against you, trying to give you substandard things, or cut things out of the contract that has already been negotiated and signed..this is from your own employees as well. Personally, I give him such credit for being able to do business here...it may be my legal background, but it makes me really annoyed and upset (okay, at times, irate) to renegotiate what I deem is a firm agreement. If it was me I would have left screaming all the way to the US a long time ago. :)

We have enjoyed the house as soon as we moved in, as it is just great to be in our own space and not in an apartment. Yet, most of the things that were suppose to be completed and fixed by the landlord never occurred before we moved in. Hence I spent most of March trying to get these things fixed. In addition, new things broke or needed to be fixed, so I was constantly working to have people come to fix things at the house. I am so grateful that we have a good agent and her office is a strong advocate for us. Otherwise it would be impossible to have any of it done. In addition to our landlord negotiating to not have to do things, it appears that while I provided a detailed list to everyone of what still needed to be fixed, no one would remember. This required constantly sending e-mails and calling my agent to have people fix it.

For example, I have had 10 separate conversations concerning the light on our hood above our stove and the lights next to it. I have had probably six different and sometimes the same workers look at it and tell me they are ordering it. I am having my seventh person come tomorrow to look at it, maybe fix it tomorrow. This was after someone came from the management office to write down what light was needed yesterday. I told Dustin yesterday that one would think that out of the five other times they came, told me they were going to order it or fix it, that one of those five people would have thought to write down what needed to be ordered and actually order it. Apparently, life is far from that simple here. Yet, this is a perfect example of working or trying to have someone fix something here. It requires a lot of patience. Frankly, if there was a better hardware store, such as could be found in the US, I could have read about the electical work, taught myself how to do it, bought the supplies and done it myself in the time it has taken them to organize this repair. Unfortunately this is just one of the repairs. We had everything from holes in the wall (created by the landlord herself when she ripped the hooks that were in the wall out that her first "painter" failed to remove and patch), mold growing on walls, to a heat vent sounding like an airplane was taking off in the family room.

The repair work and what needed to get down was a discussion that took most of March and included many people coming to the house to look at what needed to be done. Some even took pictures. So, you can only imagine my frustration when the landlord came to fix things and it turned instead into a marathon negotiation of her trying to get out from paying to have it fixed.
The afternoon was filled wth everything from her saying she would do some things, to saying she was not going to pay for another thing. It also involved her barging (literally she marched up the stairs and into his bedroom) into Josh's room while he was napping. This of course was right after I had told her not to go anywhere without me because he was sleeping. This process went so long I had to have a friend go and pick up Danny from school and keep him until she was gone. When she left we had not really gotten anywhere. We ended with me just pointing to the contract and saying this was what was required and this is what we expect to be done.

Towards the end of our time together she ended it with a comment I will never forget. "Us Chinese do not care so much about the money as the friendship." My first thought was...you have got to be kidding me..you just spent the last three hours arguing about whether you were going to pay for what you were required to pay. I think I ended up laughing out loud and said back that she should not have kicked me out of my own house the first day if she wanted to be friends (see previous blog for this story). Dustin told me later that this was her attempt to get me to accept her terms of not paying anymore. (I cannot believe this would work on anyone). He said he would have turned it on her and said if we are such good friends you will pay for it all. Of course, this is why he is the business man and not me. I just wanted to strangle her on the spot.

The happy ending concerning our landlord is that someone, we are not sure who, must have got a hold of her and explained things to her. She came to the house the following day and literally she was a completely different person. She was curteous, by Chinese standards, and she had people with her and they actually fixed most of the issues. She also said a painter would come to fix the walls. (She had left it the day before that we could pick one wall and she would fix that (there were at least 10 or more walls that needed to be fixed)--can we all say CRAZY). In the weeks to come in March, all the items except the kitchen lights have been fixed. Although it was done to Chinese standards it is still far better than nothing at all.

So, what else was happening through all this? Well, one of Dustin's employee's quit and went to work for a competitor, his new hire that was suppose to be trained was given no training, which meant Dustin had to add more to his already busy plate, he had numerous work meetings, late nights (as in midnight and beyond--try doing business with that little sleep) and still found time for our family on top. Personally, I am amazed by him and how he handles the stress of this job and all that he is able to accomplish here for his company and for us. Yet, I know Dustin will quickly be the first to down play anything he has done or does do...it is after all for the Lord and it is through the Lord that anything, especially here, gets accomplished. (There is a short novel here that could be written about all these issues that happened, but for obvious reasons they will remain out of the blog. :)

This of course brings us to the issue of Danny's school. We were quite shocked to find out about the middle of March that Danny's teacher had put pictures of children on his facebook page and then posted sexual comments about them...one really bad one was done by one of his friends. This information was obtained and copied by one of the parents and we spent a long weekend waiting to find out if Danny was involved and a long week dealing with the aftermath of it all. His teacher was obviously terminated and the search for a new teacher began. We found out about the situation on a Saturday and it took until Sunday night at a parents meeting to find out that Danny was not involved directly. The meeting was quite fascinating as Danny attends an international school and there are people from all over the world. To watch the interaction of parents as they tried to converse in English with most of them having a different native language and also different cultural and legal sytems, and with this being a highly emotional issue, it was quite fascinating. Thankfully by the middle of that week things began to settle down. The biggest blessing is that none of the children were adversely affected and continued on with their normal lives completely oblivious to all the craziness that was going on around them.

I belive the sadest part of our month was the passing of Dustin's grandmother the same weekend we were dealing with Danny's school situation. Dustin was unable to make it home for the service as it was held that Tuesday, but he was able to skype with his family right before the service. It is so wonderful that we are able to use this technology to stay connected.

The final aspect of our month was really just a culmination of the rudeness and total lack of ettiquette that is China. This society is built on a Me First mentality. It of course does not bother a Chinese person, as it is their norm. However, for any western person coming from a society of where one has etiquette (i.e.--not spitting on the ground--and I am referring to inside a store or not peeing in public--and yes no surface is safe, etc) and kindness and care for one's fellow man. The lack of it here is grinding and literally just wears you down. If you talk to most patriates, they will tell you that you can last a couple of months before you will just need to get out. We made it three...January through March, we decided at the end of March that we would leave China for Hong Kong during Danny's spring break in March. It was the best decision we made.

Now that we are back from our vacation and I am looking back on March, I can tell you that while March was an extreme month life in general here is not for the faint of heart. Yet despite all the craziness of it there are many blessing to witness here as well and God shows us these blessings even in the midst of the madness.

Trip to Hong Kong

After the CRAZY month of March, we decided that for Danny's spring break we would head down to Hong Kong for a long weekend (April 7-11). As I was completely fed up with the lack of etiquette and manners of many in Shanghai, we a stay at Disneyland, for obvious reasons...they are trained in their friendliness and at the hotel we stayed in when Dustin was getting the work visa paperwork done last year. They are also fantastic in their kindness and care. We headed off and of course there was an immediate two hour delay from the airport. We fly into Shenzen, which is directly across from Hong Kong still on the Mainland. It is by far cheaper to fly here, but it is also plagued with delays.

We arrived in Shenzen and while we waited for Dustin to check about a car to take us across the border to Hong Kong (yes, Hong Kong is a part of China now, but it still has its border checks. People in Hong Kong have much greater freedoms than the mainland Chinese), a lady--clearly Chinese by her complete lack of awareness of anyone else--nearly took out Joshua in his stroller with her suitcase. What always shocks me about these encounters is that rather than taking two more steps to go around us completely to reach the counter, she picks the 6 inches that were between Danny and Josh to barge her way to the counter. I do not think I will ever truly understand this and how they view the world. As I was already teetering at keeping my cool around rude Chinese people, this was just the end. I started muttering and crying all at the same time. Poor Danny and Dustin, who did not witness, nor could probably understand what I was saying, were a little bewildered by my ranting. By the time we got to the McDonalds downstairs in the airport, I had composed myself and apologized for the outburst. I was though so glad to be heading to Hong Kong!

We hired a car and took the trip with another family into Hong Kong. It was a great drive and actually faster than I expected. We were dropped off at Disneyland and then hoped on their bus to take us to the hotel. We were all excited, but obviously the boys were over joyed to be staying at Mickey's hotel. :)

We ate dinner at the restaurant that contained a huge buffet. The boys enjoyed the dessert part the best with Mickey shaped cookies and ice cream sundaes. We went back to the room and watched a Mickey Mouse clubhouse show until the fireworks show. This began and we were able to see almost all of it out the window.

Early the next morning we headed out to the park. It was drizzling and called for this the whole day. It did not dampen our excitement though as we had packed our rain gear and we were all set. The boys decided to start with the Dumbo ride and this time we let Josh go on it. He loved it! It was by far his favorite ride. We were quite blessed the whole day in that every time it really rained hard we were in the shows. We saw Lion King and the boys really had fun.

We made it an early evening and headed to the other restaurant in the hotel and ate. They play a movie each evening and we got to see Dinosaur. It was a big hit with the boys and Dustin and I were able to enjoy our meal while the boy watched the show. We headed back to the room and again got to see the fireworks before bed.

The following day we went to the park again, as they had a promo of 2nd day free with the hotel stay. So we hit all the rides we wanted to see again and stood and took pictures with Mickey and his friends. Donald was Josh's favorite and Mickey is still Danny's favorite. So cute to see the boys interact with them. We didn't stay the whole day, but instead headed back in the afternoon and took a taxi to our other hotel.

After unloading at the new hotel we headed out to view the Peak, which is a famous spot in Hong Kong to view the city and Victoria Harbor. Unfortunately, it was cloudy that day, but we enjoyed the tram ride up and down the steep hillside. We finished the night off with eating at Dustin's favorite Italian Restaurant in Hong Kong--Fat Angelo's. It has good food at a great price and has fun things for kids.

The next day we headed down to Stanley, a famous beach and marketplace. It is also where most of the expatriates live. We took a double decker bus and Danny just loved this so much. The views were absolutely amazing of the city and then the coast. It took about an hour to get there by bus. It was raining again, but we were able to duck in for lunch during the heaviest part of the rain. We enjoyed sitting and looking at the ocean while eating our pizza and listening to all the British expatriates with their own families around us. If you did not know you were in Hong Kong you would have sworn you were in England for the rain and the accents of everyone.

That evening we just grabbed burgers in the mall attached to our hotel and looked at some of the shops. It was great to just see some store names we recognized.

The next day we hoped on the plane home, greatly refreshed from our trip and ready to make it through the last two months before heading home to the US for the summer.

And let the Craziness Begin..or Maybe Continue

The boys got up early this morning, and I quickly went around trying to prepare for the movers to come. Yet, when they arrived at 9am I realized that I was no where close to ready for the team of movers that besieged our apartment. They had workers literally in every room. I first went around with the supervisor and his assistant and went through what stayed and went in each room. The assistant would then mark the door, item, etc with a sticker for the workers. I also had to indicate where in the new house it needed to go.

It is not until they box up your stuff that you realize how much stuff you actually own. Now remember that we have no furniture from the old place coming with us. Yet, we still managed to pack half a small truck full. They were extremely fast, sometimes faster than us, as they ended up packing up the paint and Spackle that Dustin wanted left out. It was in a box and in the truck before we even thought to say something. The move was chaotic and a little stressful for me, but was going smoothly. We had the boys staged with our ayi (we paid to have her come watch the boy in all the chaos) in front of the TV with one of their favorite movies (Ice Age). Yet, when they got down to the last things in the house it was clear the boys were really getting agitated. It was close to lunch and Josh was hungry, and he completely lost it when they unhooked his booster seat from his chair and began to put it into a box. He literally ran across the room sobbing "cha" (his way of saying the word chair). We quickly scooped him up and tried to sooth him, but it was no use. So, Hong Li and I bundled up the now both sobbing boys (they tend to both cry when one or the other is crying) and headed to the clubhouse and the indoor park (it was raining pretty good today and cold). This seemed to do the trick. We ran into a lot of Danny's friends and classmates which was nice for him as he missed them being home sick all week.

Dustin stayed behind and did the final walk through with the supervisor to make sure nothing was missed. We then grabbed some McDonalds and headed over to the new house. If we thought the pack up was chaotic, the move in was even crazier. There were again people everywhere. This time they were unpacking our things, or at least the things they put in their plastic containers. I was running from one room to another trying to help direct where things went and where boxes should go. Finally, we were madly trying to unpack as fast as we could so they could have their plastic containers back. I had every counter in every bathroom, and kitchen covered and much of the floor space in Josh's room covered in boxes.

After the movers left, I worked to get the beds made up for the boys so they could take naps, and then my ayi and I began working again. I put things away and Hong Li worked on cleaning the incredibly dirty floors. Dustin and Tom went to buy us our new ride (or my new ride I should say) a new scooter (I promise pictures soon).

We made some good headway, and after thanking Hong Li for all her help during our crazy day, we crashed on our new sofa and relaxed watching, yes, you guessed it, Ice Age.

One Year Anniversary of Moving to China

So as we sit in our apartment tonight, I cannot believe that it was just a year ago that we moved here to Shanghai and that tomorrow we move again from this apartment we have called home, to a house that will be our new home here in Shanghai.

So much has changed since we first stepped off the plane. We have already said good-bye to three great families that we have been close to here as they took new assignments abroad and back home. The boys have also changed drastically. Danny arrived more as a toddler as he was still in pull-ups, and Josh was still really a baby. Now Danny has grown into a little boy who when I look at him now looks more like 7 than 4 and Josh is no longer a baby but a toddler heading into little boyhood himself. Dustin and I have successfully plowed through numerous ups and downs here and I believe have kept our family firmly grounded and closely knit together. This being mostly to God's wonderful grace and blessings, than anything that we could have done.

The time has gone so quickly, and now we have graduated into the role of those that welcome the newcomers. They are really easy to spot--they are the ones that look a little (or a lot) uneasy, a little (or a lot) lost, and have the look of complete relief when you talk with them and give them encouragement and support. I have been amazed at the steady stream of people that have moved home or abroad and how many have moved in. It does not matter the time, they are constantly moving in and moving out. It makes life interesting here, but it is also what makes everyone so supportive, welcoming and close knit. We have such an awesome community here and we are so blessed in so many ways.

Day Two of the Move-In

This morning, I headed over and did as much of the cleaning of the kitchen and the cabinets as I could accomplish. My ayi came directly to our new house and helped while Dustin played with the boys outside. The man arrived to put our furniture together, and finally our landlord, our agent and one of the workers here at our new community arrived. The man working on the furniture worked steadily from the time he arrived until 12:30 to put the sofas, chairs and Danny's bed together. Our landlord walked around with our agent and the worker, working on the things we had specified the day before. Much of this was not actually fixing it, but rather discussing the issue and to me felt like renegotiating whether it was going to be done. The funniest moment was when the worker was actually fixing the light in our upstairs hall bath. He was almost done and was working with the lightbulb and then going to put on the cover when the landlord begins flipping the light switch up and down. I thought she is either definitely crazy or just does not care or think of others at all (probably the latter one). I am shocked the worker did not tell her to quit it, or worse.

We got a fair amount done before lunch, and decided to head back to the apartment for the boys to nap. Dustin had to leave for a meeting at 3:30 and would be gone for dinner. I was so incredibly grateful that my friends were bringing us dinner. It was great to head to the house and not have to think about what we would eat.

As the boys slept, I tried to get things organized for the movers to come in the morning. We then just relaxed before the big move.

More fun with a foriegn language

Hello blog world!

It's been a very long time since I have wrote anything, and since I've got 30 minutes to kill before the calls start for the evening, I thought I'd give it a shot.

As you all know, I've been working to learn the Chinese language. There are times I make great progress, and then there are weeks on end that I seem to go backwards.

A few weeks ago, I had a major breakthrough. This is one of those moments when you not only understand a lot more, but you also understand how they think.

This, again, has to do with time. In Chinese, when you say ahead physically, it is qianmian. Behind you is houmian.

Now, if you want to say the future you say yihou, but if you want to say the past you say yiqian.

The character qian (前）and hou (后）are the same in both words.

In my world, you stand looking forward at the future. In China, you stand looking forward at the past. Amazing.

This small difference makes things a whole lot clearer. Chinese people rarely plan... as if they don't see any point in looking "down the road". Well, if you grew up from the very first part of your ability to think with the orientation that you can only see the past, I can see why planning would appear to be meaningless.

I think I have also told you that they see time rolling down a hill, right? You see, to say morning you say shangwu and to say afternoon is xiawu. Shang (上) means above or up and Xia (下) means below or down. So, you start your day up high and end it low.

Jackie does much better at giving details of day to day life. She can explain the fun I had today dealing with the move. I cannot believe that we have been here a year. Parts of it seem like we have been here 20, others seems like yesterday.

Like I was told during my first few days here, you have Shanghigh and Shanglow days. That's all part of it.

And the Move-in Begins and so Does the CRAZINESS

The contract on the new house we are renting specified we got the keys three days before the term began, but we asked and were granted the right to get the keys four days in advance. I asked for this so I could go in and clean the house on Thursday before our funiture was to be set up on Friday (they were to deliver it on Thursday) and before the offcial movers came on Saturday.

Dustin and I arrived at the house early Thursday for what is suppose to be the walk through. We brought the kids with and our ayi all to the house thinking it would be a quick walk through and I could get started cleaning. Oh were we ever wrong. When we first walked in we noticed a few things. The paint colors we picked were great, but the other walls that were suppose to be patched and painted (their were hooks in a lot of places) had not been completed. Nor had anything else we had pointed out the last time we went through with our agent.

Our landlord is quite the interesting character. She is Shanghaiese and owns a couple of properties in the city--which makes her in the upper class of Chinese in regards to wealth. Many Chinese still just own one change of clothes and dream of owning a bicycle of their own. She apparently paid someone to do the walls and they only did the paint chips we had given, non of the other walls. She was visibly upset screaming into her cell phone in the aggitated Chinese that we have become accustome to hear. She then got off the phone and went around and started yanking them off the walls leaving holes in the walls.

The rest of the walk through took until 12:30. Of course during the walk through IKEA's delivery group brought our funiture in. It was quite the household of people and activity.

We decided it was best to leave, eat lunch and then have me come back to clean on my own. We had now a very short time to do this as at 3:30 we had a meeting with the clubhouse of where we were moving from (the SRC) to try and keep some sort of membership with them. It is a huge part the expatriate community here and most families gather here, their kids do sports here and use their pools. I really wanted this membership, and the contract we signed with our new landlord included it. She just was not able to get it herself. We are hoping they will allow us to get one even though she is the one paying for it. Our landlord already tried to talk us out of this agreement this afternoon, but we simply said it is part of the contract and we want it.

I arrived back at the house to clean and the landlord and the representative from our realtor office were still there. I began cleaning while they were talking back and forth. I got some of the drawers done in the kitchen when the agent says the landlord wants me to leave. I of course say "excuse me? Are you kidding me?" We have an agreement. The agent explains the landlord wants to wait until we know about the membership at SRC before she allows me in. I try and argue my way through it based on the agreement we have with the landlord and the fact that she already accepted our money for the coming month. I did not get anywhere. I said I would have to call Dustin to get me, but then decided I would walk as I did not want to wait with the landlord. I was so furious about being kicked out that I did not want to spend another minute with her. I made it to the front door, and the landlord is looking all contrite, but turns out she still wants me to leave, but she is saying she will drive me. As I realize that it is raining out and I do not have an umbrella, I agree to have her drive me. Yet as we begin driving, I tell her to take me to Starbucks instead of home, as I do not want her to know where we live, or somehow try and be a part of the meeting later today with SRC.

So now we are driving in her car with the agent in the back seat. I am praying that she takes me to Starbucks and not somewhere else. The agent is first trying to translate the landlord's conversation with me. As we are heading out of the subdivision to Starbucks, the agent is telling me that the landlord said she has a friend that has a membership at the SRC already and is moving. We could have this membership. I kindly remind them, as kindly as I can that the new rules under the new management is that the memberships are not transferable. The agent visibly shows an "ah shoot" face. The landlord continues to try and talk to me and I completely shut her down with the statement that we will wait to see what management tells Dustin and I at the meeting at 3:30.

So we now turn the corner (remember our new house and old apartment are only 5 minutes by car and Starbucks is located between the two) and the agent gets a phone call. Meanwhile, we are on a fairly busy street and the landlord is trying to talk to me, in Chinese, still about the membership (she clearly is wishing that she did not agree to pay for it--it is not cheap, but we increased the rent and she will get the money back, so we do not feel bad about it).

As she is trying to talk to me, she is slowing down in the lane of traffic. By the end of what she trying to say, we are practically stopped. She is able to convey to me that she wants to wait with me at Starbucks until Dustin arrives. This is crazy I thought, as she just kicked me out of the house I was suppose to have rights to today, and she thinks I am going to sit and have small talk with her for over an hour? CRAZY. So, I tell her that I am just picking up the coffee and heading back to check on the boys. She of course counters with that she will drive me home. As I am at a total loss of how to get out of this offer without completely being rude, I agree. Through this crazy conversation I somehow manage to get her to resume normal speed and enter the parking lot of Starbucks.

While in Starbucks waiting on my coffee, I text Dustin in as a discreet of way as possible, as I know they are staring at me in the store. I tell him of being kicked out and that I was on my way home. He and Tom were out buying our outdoor table set that we will use in the dining room until our furniture that we are having made is finished.

I head back to the car and start praying as we enter the community that she one does not ask to come up and wait at our place, and two that she does not ask to come to the meeting with the SRC. Of course, we are almost to our house when my phone rings and it is Dustin. I kindly tell him that I am on my way home to the apartment, and that I would have to call him back "Lindsay". I of course had to say the Lindsay part twice, but he finally got it that I did not want them to know it was him on the phone, as our crazy landlord would probably take my phone from me to talk to him. She finally pulled into our parking lot and I could not get out of the car fast enough.

After cooling off from that adventure, Dustin and I went to meet the management for SRC. We were very happy to hear that the changes they are making are tied with not wanting to deal with the landlords and not with the expatriate. They said we would have no problem keeping a membership. We then headed back to tell the news to the landlord and our agent. After all the craziness of the day, our new landlord accepted it quite well. She said she would have the cash for us on Sunday morning. We left to head home, with nothing at the house clean, but happy to have the SRC membership.

One sick boy, Moving, and the God's Amazing Support through it All

This week is our crazy week which is jammed packed with preparing to move and moving. Adding into it Dustin's busy schedule and now a sick boy. Wow!


Danny woke early on Monday morning at around 3am. He seemed warm, but went back to bed and from his wake up time at 5:30 until 8:15 when he left for school he was my normal happy4 year old. I ran to the store with Josh and my friend Lindsay to buy some groceries before the crazy week really began. We got home and I laid down for a nap because I am still quite fatigued and my condition is still acting up from my two weeks without Hong Li, our ayi. I laid there for a little while until Dustin came in and said Danny had been sent home from school with a rash and a fever. Dustin mentioned that he had been running around, so he might just be over heated. I took his temperature and found it was at 102.7F. I looked at his throat and saw white spots. I quickly called the doctor to find that they were booked until Tuesday at 10am.


With Danny being sick and having a doctor's appointment in the morning, I contacted my bible study group to let them know what was going on and why I would not be able to join them. Then I set out to explain to Danny why he was not going to be going to his friend Jule's (pronounced Ula) birthday party. After lots of tears, we were able to come up with a pizza and movie night to make our sick guy feel a little better.


The next day at the doctor's appointment was told the dreaded news--they suspect hand foot and mouth disease, which means no school until it clears up--probably a week says the doctor. So now, I have to prepare for a move and have two boys home through it all.


That afternoon, while Josh was playing quietly in the playroom while Danny slept I was sitting there thinking of how fatigued I was and this was after I took a nap myself earlier. Dustin was out that night on a business meeting, and it is in those moments that I can feel so overwhelmed by everything. Yet, I was reminding myself of the truths that this is my new normal and that God sees me through each and every step and provides all that my family and I need. It was at this moment that the phone rang.

It was one of the women in my Bible study on the phone. She explained they had organized at the bible study this morning to bring us meals at the end of this week and through the begining of the next. I was speechless. God is so awesome in how he can answer us so quickly. He was saying, yes Jackie I do meet your every need and hear your every call, and using the wonderful women in my study group to do so.


It reminds me of Isaiah 40: 28-31--"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary and tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to te weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the Lord Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary." So I am so grateful that God is so amazing and he uses every means possible to support us through this life. What peace that brings...We may make it through this week after all. :)