Crossing the street, diminishing marginal utility, and always happy

I think Jackie has described what it takes to cross the street in China. It is an interesting mix of courage, trust and what some might call temporary insanity…

Let me say right now that the problem is not that they drive on the other side of the street – only in Hong Kong do you have that complication. No, the problem is much more difficult to reconcile since you need to look both left and right simultaneously. (It’s not as simple as which direction to look first!) Of course, you can look left and right at the same time, and to attempt to do so would cause you to move your head back and forth so fast that you might get dizzy and fall down. This would be unfortunate, because the drivers here tend to just go over whatever is in the road instead of avoiding it. (This happened to me and the driver had to stop and remove the cardboard we were dragging down the road…)

Anyway, what happens is you must get a head start. See right on red is legal, which means they really don’t stop. Also interesting is the fact that nearly every traffic signal counts down – sort of like at the drag strip.

So, you know when it is coming, and so does everyone else in the intersection or near the intersection.

Your best hope is to start with about 2 seconds left on the cross traffic – and RUN!!! But, don’t run too far as you need to stop on the center stripe and check carefully for the person barreling down the road you are crossing to make his right hand turn on red.

If you’re thinking that you’ve got this game of frogger licked at this point – watch out! Remember there is another street that isn’t really a street for bicycles and mopeds. The problem with this little street is that they don’t obey any traffic law. Red, pink, yellow or green, these folks do what they want when they want.

Now for my travels today. I had the pleasure of taking a dongche. This is a new word in Chinese and is essentially the China version of the bullet train – and man is it nice. Zipping along a 200 kph sitting in a wide seat, working on my computer, checking emails on my phone, man did I feel modern!

Of note on this trip (say 150 kilometers – almost 100 miles) was the fact that we never left the city. Yes, we cross jurisdictional lines, but we never left industrialization. I went to a “small” town of 400,000 people. It was nice and I had a good business meeting.

On the ride to and from, I had some time to think about longer term issues and do some gut checking on our current direction – that was nice.

As for literal direction, tomorrow we are headed to Shenzhen. I’ve got some business to do there and then we are off to Hong Kong. I am happy that Danny (who can recognize the city in pictures on my computer), Jackie and Josh will be able to see the city. It is a very different place – incredibly crowded, sort of Western mashed with a real Asian feel.

We are going to Hong Kong so that I can complete some paperwork formalities and have a supplier meeting or two. Since I have conflicting info on what color the background of my photo has to be, I needed a stapler as I'll have to do the final assembly in the consulate. Since we didn’t have one, I made the 20 minute walk or so to the little store where I found the plunger. Getting this item was no problem (4 attendants later). On the way home I had to pass a Cold Stone Creamery. I called Jackie and went in to indulge ourselves with some take home ice cream.

For those who have never been to one of these joints, let me say they are proud of their work. I plunked down what is probably 25% of weekly pay for the average Chinese office worker in a city like Shanghai or Shenzhen for four pints of ice cream… and this brings me to the whole utility thing.

In economics, it is assumed that rational people try to maximize their utility. You do this in a number of ways, but spending money to get other things is one way you try to do this for yourself. Now there is a problem. This problem is that economics also says that there is decreasing marginal utility. Put simply, for ice cream, the next bite doesn’t quite taste as good as the one before, and so on. That is, you aren’t quite as happy with it once you’ve had it for a while.

Well, let me tell you, after spending way too much on ice cream, its utility is holding up rather well! The last two days have been insane, so I didn’t get a chance to eat well or at home at all on Monday. Today I had the choice between McDonalds or some dumpling restaurant at the train station before my ride home. I asked about the dumpling place and I got the typical haikeyi response.

Let me talk about what hai ke yi means. It’s official translation is something like not bad or passable. In English, of course we have many levels of OKness. From Excellent to good to mediocre to not so good, to bad, to terrible, to awful and so on. In Chinese, unfortunately, I have only heard very good (hen hao), good (hao), OK (hai ke yi), and not good (bu hao).

Clearly if I ask about a place and bu hao comes out, we move on in a hurry. Hai ke yi is a bit more difficult as it ranges somewhere from not so good to not bad centered on mediocre.

So we went to the dumpling place. Keep in mind we fed two people (and had leftovers) for about 8 USD. At this point I should also tell you that I have found that lemon lime Gatorade does wonders for calming your stomach. After eating/acting very full at lunch, I promptly bought a Gatorade for me and a Pepsi for my coworker. This cost 20% of the food bill.

Now back to ice cream. Most Chinese don’t like cream based foods. That is why it is interesting to see so many Dairy Queens. A weird marketing gimmick at DQ is the fact that they serve blizzards “upside down” or you don’t pay. What they do is literally turn the blizzard upside down before they hand it to you. Every time they do this the Chinese people with me ask why – I say “must be a Chinese thing, they don’t do this in the US!”

Anyway, I have lost several pounds over the last week. A lot of walking and less and less food – good for me and for the time being, good for Cold Stone Creamery!

This brings me to my conclusion for the day, which is based on difficult translations. Essentially anytime something is hard to translate, they will give you some variation on “makes you happy”. I walked all the way home and in the elevator noticed the English on the ice cream bag – “Always Happy”. And so, as I savored every bite with constant enjoyment, I had to agree!

The Ups and Downs of Parenting and Shanghai

Friday I was able to find some of the allusive items I had been searching for such as a liquid measuring cup--I had been using my dry measuring cups for this and just praying it was close enough to make the recipes work.

Saturday was relaxing, as we do not go anywhere that is not within walking distance for us. (We try and give the driver the day off as he has to take us to church on Sundays). Even though it was overcast on Saturday we were able to take our walk down to the stores just outside our community. Dustin showed me the store he had found (more Chinese--i.e.--you do not see many foreigners in this store) and I showed him the store I had located (almost all imports and lots of foreigners). We decided to do lunch at Papa Johns and this time Josh did not scream and cry while we were there. (Last time I had to leave the restaurant he was so upset). Overall, it was a lovely day and we were able to catch up from the week.

Sunday started out normal, but after leaving two hours before church started and it taking almost that entire time to get there, we were all gratful to see the familiar surroundings of the stores around our church. We did not anymore than than turn the corner to park the van than Josh had a little cough which when I turned to check on him, turned out to him getting sick all over his jacket, shirt, jeans and car seat. I scrambled to the back as he continued to get sick and I frantically tried to contain it. It was getting pretty crazy as he was begining to do what previously I had never encountered--projectile sickness--may you never experience--and if you have, I sympathize with you. I must add in here that this was the first day in our van. We had returned the rental van and were driving for the first time in the van we will have full time now. The driver had just brought it to its highest level of clean (it is an old van, so this is relative, but he had done a nice job) when Josh got sick.

Thankfully, I was able to keep everything to Josh's clothes and the car seat. I had been barking orders at poor Dustin as to wear to find kleenex in our diaper bag and to search for a platic bag in there as well. I quickly worked at cleaning him up with a mountain of kleenex and then wipes. It was a blessing that while I did not have any change of clothes for Josh, I had put a pair of pants in for Danny as it was his first day to wear big boy underwear. I quickly stripped Josh out of his clothes and put him in his brother's extra pair of pants. The only other thing I had was my short trench coat that I had brought as my coat. He was quite a site in a women's lime green trench coat with the sleaves pushed up and jeans rolled up to his ankles.

Dustin and I decided it was best for me to go track down clothes for Josh and that it made no sense for us all to do this. So, Danny and Dustin went onto church while the driver, Josh and I headed to the mall. (Danny was looking forward to his class, and well you do not travel 2 hours to anything and not have a desire to go to it, so I wanted at least one of us to attend the service). Now, just to let you know which mall is the mall that I am referring to, this is the high end mall. I want you to think of the scene from Pretty Women where the lady refused to help Julia Roberts because the sales clerk thought she was not good enough to shop in the store, and this is basically the mall that I am entering. Entering with Josh naked to the waist, wearing my lime green trench and jeans rolled up and hanging off of him because they are too big. I can only imagine what they were thinking as they watched me go by with Josh.

The driver was kind enough to come with me and we entered one store. I of course forget sometimes what a stir we make, especially when I am focused on something. So I began browsing the racks, trying to determine Josh's size (it is not listed by what I am familiar with at all) and find something that I think I can use again. The prices are high, so I do not want to just throw my money away. I am moving from one rack to another and then back again. The driver at this point is holding Josh for me and he is trailing behind me around the store. (I should qualify that these stores are really just boutique size and there is not much floor space or selection). You should have seen my surprise as I looked up half way through this ordeal to realize that I had a whole spectator section watching me. (Even in this high end mall, there are not a lot of foreigners, let alone foreigner with half naked children wearing a women's trench being carried by the driver behind their shopping mother).

The crowd of course gets me extremely flustered and I grab something that I believe to be some what cute and not too babyish and head to the check out. Unfortunately, the spectacule is not over, because I want to change him right away, and signal to the driver (as this is how we do most of our communication) that I am going to take Josh to the bathroom. What you have to understand here in China is that they do not have any public areas set up for children. I had thought that this bathroom was the one I had been to previously that had a changing table (it is not normal to have a changing table as the Chinese do not use diapers--their children's clothes through toddler age is called split pants--let your mind go and you will understand what this item is instead of diapers, hence no need for changing tables). I had thought since this was a high end mall, and this was the children's area, they would have one here, but unfortunately I was wrong. I had to walk back out to the driver and look around for an area to change him. I was stuck with a corner of sorts as my only option. I layed my coat down and changed him as fast as I possibly could but not fast enough to not have a lot of stares for some very rich Chinese.

Upon putting on the clothes, I came to find out that what I had chosen was way to short for him. It came to about three quarters down his legs and arms. I quickly covered him again with my coat and we headed back to the car.

We were able to get home from church, but Josh started to get sick again close to home, so Dustin dropped me off with Josh and took Danny to get McDonalds for us. Unfortunately, they misunderstood the discussion between Danny and Josh and thought Dustin did not want chicken mcnuggets and instead ended up giving us hot wings. So the day ended with Dustin gulping down the hot wings and Danny eating Dustin's hamburger. Overall the day was quite an ordeal.

Monday continued on this theme in that Danny had a set back in the potty training, so I spent the afternoon dealing with this issue. Joshua helped in that he awoke from his nap extremely fussy and crying. Dustin was running late from a meeting, so he suggested that I take the boys to the clubhouse for dinner. They had calmed down and were playing, so his suggestion of not cooking sounded great to me after the stressful afternoon. Oh how I would regret that decision. We entered the restaurant and thankfully it was not too crowded. I realized upon getting there that I only had Danny's sippy cup of water. Rather than trecking back to the house to get Josh's I thought Danny could drink out of a regular cup (they give nice kids cups with straws here and he is getting really good at this) and I could have them fill Danny's sippy cup with the milk for Josh. I of course failed to realize that my kids have been programed to associate the color of their cups with whether it is milk or water, and when the waiter brought the cup with milk to Josh (in the green cup I had, milk I put in a blue one), Josh took it and threw it off the table. Now I do not mean knocked it off, I mean picked it up and heaved it to the side of him. The waiter laughed (I was praying at this point that this behavior was mild compared to what they have witnessed) while I was mortified by his behavior.

The restaurant here is good, but the service takes a while. I had of course come prepared for this with crackers for Josh and Danny. Josh would not have any of it though and only wanted the crayons (which he would proceed to eat if I gave them to him) that Danny had been given to color him menu, and so he fussed while we waited for the food. Upon receiving our meal, Josh perked up, but I made the fatal mistake of giving him one of his chicken nuggets that I thought was cool enough and was not.

Well, if you have not seen a child nearly hyperventalate while crying, you should have been a fly on the wall in the restaurant. Josh immediately went hysterical on me. He did not want me to hold him, but did not want to be put down, he would not quiet at all. He just screamed and squirmed in my arms. I could not calm him at all. After about 10 minutes, I asked the staff to box my meal and Josh's up--thankfully Danny through all of this was just calmly eating his pizza and was nearly finished. I put Josh back in the stroller only to be met with harder crying and now gasps for air between. We exited the restaurant and headed for home. I have never had such an experience and as this is the staff that is always there, and one of the only restaurants we frequent, it is going to be a joy to go back in the future (the other one is the extremely fancy buffet--see previous blog of when we first saw the apartment). As I stated previously I just tried to console myself with the fact that they were very kind to me and the boys and that hopefully as there are a lot of kids living here, they have seen this kind of behavior before and realize it just comes with the territory of parenting.

I am going to bed with the prayer that the boys wake up refreshed in the morning and myself as well.

Enjoying the Weather and Potty Training Successes

Sorry for the lack of writing these past couple of days. We have spent most of them around the house and community for two reasons. First Dustin has needed the driver most of the day the past two days for off site meetings. Secondly, we have been working on the potty training with Danny. It has come to an all time necessity in the fact that I am unable to find pull-ups in his size. When I went to the store on Monday, I could not even locate the cheap Chinese kind that are similar to a kids depends. Monday and Tuesday were consumed with this effort and our breakthrough came on Tuesday night. Thanks to some fatherly pressure from Dustin and some great advice from grandparents. I am over joyed (this is no exageration--anyone who has tried to potty train knows what I mean) to report that we finally have true success.

Part of our breakthrough was simply a misunderstanding cleared up. We had been mentioning to Danny that kids would make fun of him is they knew that he still pooped in his pull ups. It turns out that Danny took this saying literally (as many young children do) and believed that kids were going to have fun and that he would have a lot of friends because he still pooped in his pull ups. Once Danny had the true understanding on this phrase and we implemented our new attempt on encouragement (i.e.--a chart which he gets to put stickers on for each success time making it to the toilet and a good old fashion carrot at the end of the stick--a large fire truck for when the chart is completely filled with stickers) he is truly excited and doing great. So, thankfully with this success I feel like I am truly going to get to the end of this long path of trying to potty train.

Besides hanging around the house, we have also had two new experiences--not really new just new in the sense of being firsts in China. Josh got his first cold, followed by Danny who got the croup yesterday after nap. Both boys seem to be weathering these colds well. I had taken Josh into the clinic--our first visit-- to check his ears, as he was extremely fussy. Turns out the waking from naptime with unconsoleable crying has nothing to due with his ears, and can just be chalked up to general fussiness. Danny has had croup numerous times since he was about Josh's age, and thankfully as he gets older, the symptoms are getting better. He in the past has had to go to the hospital for his breathing. We are grateful that the boy's doctors set us up well to treat this and I was able to give Danny the medicine immediately yesterday and while he sounded aweful, he was doing fine.

Our second new experience here was haircuts for the boys. Josh's hair seems to be more like mine, and is therefore wavy and curly by nature. It was getting so long that it was curling in the back. As I did not want him confused for a girl, I knew we had to get their hair cut sooner than later. There is a hair salon right in our community (like I said in a previous blog--one would not ever need to leave the community if they did not want to do so). I made an appointment and took the boys yesterday. It went well and I was pretty happy with the result. It was a little different than what the boys have done in the US--but the end result looks the same, so that is good. The barber or stylist used thining sheers for most of the cutting rather than just straight siccors. This leaves me a little concerned for my own hair cut (I still have to schedule this) as I have extremely thick hair. It does require thinning, but not to the extent that he did Danny. (Danny has extremely thick hair and at times has trouble laying flat) I was a little worried at one point that the man was going to thin it to the point where Danny was going to look like he was balding or losing his hair. Yet, in the end all was fine.

The weather has been fantastic here since the cold snap we experienced this weekend. The boys and I have had a nice time walking to the shops just outside our community. The first time we did this alone was on Tuesday, and quite frankly we came close to getting killed by the crazy traffic here. However, we braved it again today and we had much more success. It is a little hard here crossing the street, as you are not guaranteed that anyone will obey the traffic lights. I have seen fully loaded dump trucks fly (at least 40 or more miles per hour) straight through the red traffic light. So needless to say you must watch the traffic from every light and make sure there is nothing coming and then make sure you run like the dickens for the other side of the street.

Tomorrow I venture with the boys back to IKEA. We are going to try and get some of the things we still need such as laundry baskets and hangers. I am hopeful that the potty training will remain a success and Danny will be able to handle going to a store (remember at least 40 minutes just to get to the store) and getting home without just deciding he wants to go in his pullup. I am also hopeful we can get some of the things that will make our house more of a home--such as picture frames, throw pillows and blankets.

The "Bubble" or the Trap

I mentioned in my blog the other day, that a nice young man described our community as a bubble. When I first heard this comment I took it to describe the fairly nice surroundings we have compared to the starkness and quite frankly the poverty that surrounds our community. We are, I mentioned before, further out in the countryside than within the downtown of the city, and the poverty is more apparant here. However, after the past two days events of exploring two sites within the city, the word bubble is taking on different meanings to me.

After our failed attempt to reach the aquarium on Thursday, we promised Danny we would go on Friday, but to take the subway. Dustin has traveled on the subway before and knows plenty of Chinese to be able to navigate with no problem. We, as usual, with the two boys with us are quite the show for the Chinese people. I believe this is two fold. They love children and they are not used to seeing a lot of foriegners (this is discussed later in this blog). Furthermore, our children have light colored hair, are fair skinned and Josh has bright blue eyes. All stand out quite a bit here.

The train ride down was not so bad, people staring, and talking about us, but nothing too intrusive. We arrived at the aquarium and Dustin went to get the tickets. Within seconds again we were surrounded by a group of elderly chinese people. (In the back of my mind I completley understand our appeal, especially to this generation as for most of their lives, they were shut off to the outside world of foreigners and it was only since they were older (i.e.--the 70s) that they have been able to travel out of the counrty and many westerners have been able to travel in). The problem to me arises first in that these encounters are not always as benign--meaning they try and touch the children's hands, or worse, faces--I have had them try and give food to the kids and I do not mean food you and I would recognize and of course the couple of people who feel they should be able to hold the children. The second issue is that it does not seem to matter where we are, what we are doing, this type of incident is going to happen and continue to happen. Thus, my new meaning of bubble--we could be forced to remain there (as many foreigners do--the families do not venture out, only the husbands for work) like a trap due to the sheer hassle and issues that arise when you leave.

By the time we arrived home yesterday from the aquarium we had been surrounded twice and I had been sworn at once (for saying bu yao--don't want--three times, the last time a little more rudely to a man trying to sell tourist pictures, who by my third bu yao had traveled with us a short distance and was practically holding onto my arm) and been scolded by an older Chinese women, for a fairly long distance mind you, in the subway station (Josh has a habit of taking his shoes off and now also his socks--as this was a warm day I did not fight him on it and let me ride in the stroller with no socks or shoes. Apparently from the harsh scolding and finger crossing I was receiving from the lady she believed I was responsible for great child neglect and possible abuse and that surely in this 65 degree day he was going to die from the fact that his feet were bare).

So my new understanding of the bubble at the end of yesterday was first as we rode the elevator up to our apartment was first and foremost it is an amazing blessing and a safe haven. A place we can be ourselves and not be stared at or acosted. On the other hand, it can also be a trap or jail cell.

As the past two days have made me realize, I have to figure out how to navigate outside this community with the two boys. To feel safe, not bothered and allow my boys to take part in this great culture, but to not feel like zoo animals in the process. This in my mind is not easy and I have been tossing it around in my brain quite a bit since yesterday. I have to say, that when I got home I was angry and upset, and quite frankly even this morning I was in this same mood. I was partly angry because I was having to grieve my complete lack of independence and how limiting this is and is going to be especially in the short run. I believe many expatriate families encounter this and most have made the decision that they are not going to go out with the kids. I have yet to see any foreign kids in the stores. I believe the mothers must either order what they can online and have it delivered, or they go when their kids are in school or when their Ayi is there. (Ayi means Auntie--i.e.--maid--everyone has one here as it is clear from the sheer amount of cleaning that is required--this is a full time job each and every day and there are no Clorox wipes etc here, just the old fashion, not so fast way to clean). You only see foreigners either as large tour groups, or single business men, sometimes with their wives, but always with their translator. There are markedly few people that are navigating the city on their own. In the past two days, we have encountered two people.

So, I believe, after much contemplation, that this morning and yesterday I was feeling victimized by our situation. I felt uncomfortable in these situations that have happened and powerless in the fact they are not going to stop when we do travel out of the community.

However, the good news...my analytical brain does not allow this type of victimized feeling to go on for long and more importantly either does one of my favorite verses from Paul who instructs us "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." I realize in studying this verse in the context of our situation, and really anyone's situation, that you can dwell on all the things that you do not like or make you uncomfortable, or you can dwell on what is good and work on fixing those things that are in your control. The rest is all up to our view and what our focus is going to be on.

With that being said, I am redeciding (I have a feeling that this will occur many times over this experience, so if you feel like you read this often in this blog, give me grace, as I am only human and tend to lose sight of what I am to be focused on) to focus on the good and the positive. So here goes...

When I first arrived and this first started happening to us, I took them as moments to interact with the local people. This has not changed. They are still wonderful opportunities to interact with the local people. What has become crystal clear is that I must learn to be able to communicate at least as well as Dustin to handle these situations better. If I just had a few sentences, I would easily be able to tell them in a kind way that I prefer, and really the kids prefer that they do not touch them, or to not offer food to them. Furthermore, until I reach this point, we will limit our exploration of the city to just once a week. (This does not include grocery shopping as it is not too intrusive at these locations--mostly just stares and people talking and pointing as we go by or waving). I find that more often than once a week leaves us feeling like zoo animals rather than people the Chinese people are excited to see and meet.

Overall, I am glad we have had this experience these past two days. It has brought new appreciation for our community or "bubble". I will also diligently work to make sure that it remains a safe haven and not a trap for our family.

Thoughts on small time and shoe polish

This blog entry is a bit more philosophical than most of my entries (so you’ve been warned).

If I asked you, a Westerner, what the small unit of time was, what would you say? A minute, a second? Perhaps you are a computer junky and a nanosecond is a small unit of time… I’d answer this as a second. That is a small amount of time.

So, what if I asked you if something could be done quickly… you probably wouldn’t think much of anything could be done in 3 seconds or 3 minutes.

Now let me take you into China for a bit. People who are more learned on these things may say that my discussion here lacks rigor and experimental support, but I’m going through this exercise anyway. You see, I have come to believe that the way we see the world is highly affected by the language we speak. From the first moment you can remember, you are hit with things like good, bad, big, small, hot, cold, sea, river, creek, and so on. Even things like up and down, left and right, front and back. I think the way you describe things from your earliest formative years using language affects how you see the world around you – your language directly shapes your worldview.

Now to the point. In Chinese small (xiao) plus time (shi) is an hour. That’s right; a small increment of time is an hour. Now, ask yourself the question about getting something done quickly but use your smallest unit of time as an hour – I’m sure you would think many things could be done in 2 or 3 hours…

This is a sword that cuts both ways for me here in China. You see, when I say I’ll have something done quickly, I could mean 10 minutes, 2 hours, or 3 days – it all depends on the task at hand. But when I say this to many Chinese, they are thinking quickly is a few small increments of time, and they can grow impatient if my quickly wasn’t a few hours.

On the other hand, if something isn’t progressing very fast they react as if only a little time has passed. You know, if 48 hours goes by and nothing happens, it’s like 48 seconds (or minutes) for me – who is going to be wound up if they don’t hear some response in less than an hour.

It’s this dichotomy that permeates life here. Some things happen so fast it makes your head spin (partly because they throw a lot of labor at certain things). Other things happen so slow, you’d have more progress with arctic glacier flows.

Another strange combination is small (xiao) and heart (xin) which means careful. Wide heart (cuxin) means careless… I haven’t figured out the connection between the size of your heart and whether or not you are careful, but I’m working on it.

Now on to shoe polish (which has never been one of my favorite things). I can remember my dad having a box with a little place he could rest his shoe on top. In this box, he kept all of the polish. I don’t know exactly how often he polished his shoes, but my guess is it was nearly once a week.

Well, in China, once a week doesn’t cut it. My shoes need polishing after one day. This is completely honest. It is so dusty here – we are essentially living in a construction site as everything, everywhere is being built, all at once. So, your shoes don’t just get dusty where it can be wiped off. They get covered, and the dust is so abrasive that if anything drags across the uppers of your shoes they immediately require a polish. Honestly, if I could, I’d have my shoes polished twice a day – once at noon and once when I got home.

Of course, I can’t do this, and my shoes don’t get the daily attention they require, as you will recall my definition of small time is about 1 second. And since some things move at a frenetic pace, you have to hold onto every second you can find… and that is why I’m really starting to love Saturday’s.

On Saturday we let the driver have some time on his own – his day of rest. I didn’t intend it this way, but that has also become our day of rest as it represent the day when we are restricted to where we can walk… and we can’t walk too far from our “bubble” as Jackie has started to describe where we live. If you go out and fight it in the city for very long, you will do exactly what Jackie and I did in the elevator at the end of the day – sigh deeply and simply say “home sweet home!”

breaking it down to Chinese rap...

Jackie has once again given you the overview below. I’ll do my best to add a little color commentary…

At the Yu Yuan garden tourist trap (the actual garden is a smaller area in the middle you have to pay to get in), there is plenty to be had in terms of culinary delights – DQ, Starbucks, mystery meat on a stick, mystery meat in a bowl, mystery meat just wrapped in paper, and so on. Needless to say, we went with the more familiar route of McDonald’s.

Just so you know, McDonald’s is the same everywhere, except for what should be an apple filled turnover is actually filled with fish eggs, or something like fish eggs. I think they got that idea from the dumpling place around the corner that serves” Glorious Steam Dumpling Filled with the Digestive Track and Ovary of the Crab”. Leave it to the Americans to dull it down and put it in a little box…

Anyway, I ordered two double pounders and two kids meals. My wonderful dictionary on my phone stopped working, and I didn’t have confidence in how to say milk, so we all got Coke. Good thing because their “medium” gives you a coke that would pass as kids size in the US. (Jackie and I consumed all four cokes, but I’ll get to that in a minute.)

So, the entertainment value for the locals continued in McD’s. We were obviously being watched like fish in a bowl (which I couldn’t say at the time for fear I’d send Danny back into hysterics regarding the aquarium) or monkeys in the zoo. The music in the McD’s had to be at near rock concert levels – seriously, Jackie and I had to shout at each other across the 2 foot table they provide. I’m sure our loud English only added to the humor for the locals. (Note, I think the music is so loud so that you don’t stay long – not enough seats for lengthy eating – and did I mention that Danny eats at the pace of a slug?)

So, about the time I had tuned the din around me out, I noticed Josh. We was happily playing peek a eat a bite with his food (where he eats a piece, puts it back in the bag, only to pull it out again and be tickled that there is food in the bag – oh to be a kid again!)

The scene in front of my eyes is a bit difficult to describe. I wish I had a video camera with me, but here is my feeble attempt. Imagine that hitch type walk that rappers do on the music videos. You know, where they bob their head up and down in time with the music? Well, there was Josh, doing the toddler equivalent – to Chinese rap.

So, I mimic him a bit. What does he do – what any self respecting toddler does when they get attention – turn it up a notch… Before long Jackie has her head back in laughter as Josh and I are breaking it down. We even moved our hands back and forth a bit to simulate a DJ on his disks, mixing it down for the pleasure of our audience.

Out of all of the trouble we had this day (and it was nontrivial, I tell you), this little 3 minute moment was enough to make our day – this was an experience that we could never have in the USA… and one we will cherish forevermore.

So, I did go and get milk for the boys (after removing the battery and hard resetting my phone). What is interesting to me is how people who see foreigners regularly still get a kick out of one who can say a sentence in Chinese, and carry on a basic conversation. The one girl who was manning the register was soon surrounded by 4 others all eager to hear me butcher their language. When it was all said and done, they asked me where I was from… seems to be a rather normal way to end an encounter here. I would have thought my accent would give it away (or my dress), but I guess all of us foreigners sound the same.

Traffic, Traffic, and Oh did I Mention the Traffic

Today the boys were all excited because Dustin took the afternoon off so we could go to the aquarium here in Shanghai. It is located all the way in Pudong (the east side of the river and into the financial district). We felt that by leaving at 1:00 we would be able to beat most of the traffic and get downtown with a few hours to view the museum. Oh, we should have known that life here in one of the largest cities of the world would not be that easy. So, after 2 1/2 hours of sitting in traffic and still being an hour away if the traffic was actually moving, we ditched the aquarium. You must of course picture us in the van at this moment and the moments before the decision. Obviously, sitting in stand still traffic (okay we moved slightly in this 2 1/2 hours, but not much), trapped in car seats with no toys, no books, not even the radio to listen to (this exists, it is just in Chinese) is not fun. Josh had taken to his screeching for most of the 2 1/2 hours stopping only for periods of time in which we sang different nursery rhymes (the interest in this ran out fairly quickly) and for a short period after I wedged myself between their two car seats.
When we made the decision to abort our mission of the aquarium (due solely to the fact that we seriously did not believe we would make it there with any significant time before it closed) Josh was already crying. Danny of course, took the news as one would expect. He also began crying. So we then had two boys crying (Dustin was already fit to be tied over the traffic) and Dustin was trying to explain to our non-English speaking driver that we no longer wanted to go to the aquarium. Dustin decided that we were close to a landmark area of the city known as Yuan garden and was trying to direct our driver to this new location. Yuan is a beautiful garden that is older than the United States has been a country and is surrounded by a lot of little shops and restaurants. It is a huge tourist area, but we felt it important to get the boys out of the car even for just a short period of time.

Unfortunately, our driver in addition to being non-English speaking, has been in the city for as long as we have (he was a driver down in Shenzen). So upon Dustin's first explanation of where we wanted to go, he did not understand correctly and began taking us away from where we wanted to be. Finally, he understood where we wanted to go, but he had no idea how to get there. He was actually trying to ask Taxi drivers as we were at stop lights. Thankfully, Dustin was able to contact one of the guys from work and they were able to straighten it all out. Remember, this whole time, about another 30 minutes, the boys were going between singing (as well as anything else I could think of to keep them entertained) and crying. Oh we must have been a sight to behold.

We finally arrived at Yuan garden and got out to walk around. Thankfully, we had brought two strollers and we pushed the boys through the crowded shop alleys that surround the garden. We saw some beautiful artwork. The carvings are amazing as well as their needlework done in silk. Also some amazing silk handwoven rugs. Dustin was not feeling well (he has been eating the Chinese food served in the cafeteria--one can only imagine what this is) and all the driving. We decided to stop at a Dairy Queen stand we past earlier within the complex. The boys were in the strollers, so Dustin and I decided to have us to wait off to the side while he went up to the stand. Dustin had not been gone for 20 seconds when we were completely surrounded by curious onlookers. The kids are sort of used to some attention because every time we leave the community they are pointed at and many people come up to say hello or try and shake the boys hands (the craziest was a man, after trying to say hi to the boys, wanted me to hand Josh to him--maybe I am cynical, but I couldn't believe he thought I was going to hand over my child to a perfect stranger. That is just crazy). Anyway, this was noting like anything we have experienced so far. I can hardly accurately describe the scene to you. Thankfully, I had already read on-line from other expatriates that the Chinese people love children and are fascinated by Westerners. They especially love boys and two boys is quite a phenomenon here (the Chinese are technically only allowed to have one child and if they have more than one child the family is fined for this second child. In addition the second child is not eligible for the normal benefits of a Chinese citizen such as school), so I was not concerned about our safety at anytime.

The crowd formed a semi-circle around us (our backs were to the wall). They were all smiling and pointing and some were trying to get the kids to wave. I was kneeling down next to the boys so they would not become overwhelmed by it all. In addition to everyone standing and pointing, and just staring, almost all of them had whipped out cameras and were taking reams of pictures of the kids. Some, especially the elderly women and some of the younger girls actually squatted down next to the kids in their strollers and took pictures with them (similar to what you and I would do with Mickey Mouse at Disneyworld). You would have thought we were Britney Spears or someone else equally famous for all the commotion that was going on around us. It was quite hilarious.

Finally, Dustin returned with a soda and we continued on with our search for a small item for Danny. Danny of course picked out a plastic parrot (he is fascinated by parrots right now) that sits on a little limb and screeches (not sings--screeches--I can already tell you the batteries are going to go missing here soon) out different songs like Mary has a Little Lamb. We then located a McDonalds and treated the kids to an early dinner out.

We piled back into the van and after going around the same block a couple of times (our poor driver--he is so contentious, I know he feels bad that he does not know the city better) we find the correct route back home. Of course, you guessed it, we hit more traffic on the way home. Thankfully this time the boys are tired and have full stomachs which quickly results into two sleeping boys.

While our adventure was not what we intended it to be, it turned out extremely well and we have memories that I can honestly say we will not forget anytime soon.

Looking for a plunger (or is it a piston?)

(Best to read Jackie’s post below, first.)
No kidding, when I use the dictionary on my phone, it gives a definition that equates plunger to a piston. Before today, I never equated the lowly home repair tool to the integral part of the internal combustion engine, but when you think about it, they are rather similar in function. Anyway…

I got a panic email from Jackie with the subject line telling me that there was “a mess at the house --- call asap”. So, I called. And before we got off the phone I was headed out of my office to locate the simplest (so I thought) of tools to fix the minor clog in the bathroom.

I asked to go to the Carrefour (jia le fu, in pinyin which means something like happy home). It seems that the “Happy Home” must not require plungers, since more than one attendant replied mei you (don’t have). Of course, I wasn’t sure if they thought I was looking for a piston to work on my car in my dress slacks and shirt…

Through a rather animated explanation that the cesou (toilet) zusule (clogged) and pumping my arm up and down as if plunging an imaginary toilet in front of me, I thought I had got the point across to the driver. However, his ability to spell in pinyin is as bad as my ability to spell in English, so we were in real trouble for me to cross check his definition.

So, strike one on the plunger at Carrefour. We then proceeded to the B&Q which is a nice Home Depot knock off. My driver asked at the door, used the same hand motions I used with him, and the greeter shot me a sly grin and then pointed us to the back corner. (I can only guess what he was thinking!)

We were on the right track this time as we passed a lot of PVG drain pipe and values, but alas, no plunger. We were then directed, again with poor attempt to cover up the humor of it all to my hosts, upstairs. Here I found row upon row of toilets… the thought seriously crossed my mind that I may just have to buy a new one. I could get one for about $40 USD, so what the heck? Maybe toilets are disposable items here?

Strike two for the plunger – at this point I thought finding a piston would be easier.
I ask my driver to call one of his pengyou (friends) to try and find a place where we can locate this household repair tool. On the way to our next place, closer to our home, I had to call my coworker to discuss something. She speaks excellent English, and when I told her of my delima, she asked me to spell what I was looking for (uh oh, I thought – what if I can’t spell it correctly!). I spelled it for her and she said, “is this what you use if your toilet has a problem?” Yes was my prompt reply and I asked her to tell the driver in Chinese what it was I was looking for… “I’m not sure how you say this in Chinese,” she replies…

So to the store my driver thinks will have it. It is a vegetable store very close to my house with several foreigners. My driver asks me to wait as we aren’t exactly parked legally (like I would be able to tell a cop to not ticket me and throw me in jail!) I thought, if there is a plunger in there, then I have to seriously rethink what is in a store from what I can see through the windows.
Within 3 minutes, the driver returns empty handed, and looking rather concerned. Mei you, I say. Mei you he replies.

So, strike three for the plunger – and usually I’d say you’re out, but in China you just keep pressing forward.

My driver puts on his hazard signal (flashers) and slowly backs up the street that we weren’t supposed to be on since it isn’t really a street – it’s just the place for bicyclist to ride so they don’t have to be in the street. Once we get far enough, the flashers come off, and we get back onto the street.

We go to the next intersection and make a turn which puts us directly across from the American School. A man rides by on a bike and my driver exclaims – “Dustin!!!” and points at the man on a bicycle. Low and behold, what does he have – a plunger!!! I remark yes, and know that we are now getting close, as this is the only plunger I have seen since I have been in China, (and I know it is not fashionable to hold one as you ride your bike).

We do a U turn, find a tingche (parking spot) and park the car. I had to go in here since this was a very local place – no laowai (foreigners) here. We walk in, you guessed it, some sort of vegetable market. I would describe it sort of like a permanent, covered, farmers market. While looking at all of the veggies, I realized that plungers typically don’t come from the farm. I notice a store on the right, but my driver presses forward.

Very quickly, the driver must have come to the same conclusion as me, that the farmers didn’t bring plungers (or pistons) to up-sell their customers. We dart into the store, and before I could think about the plunger, I was struck at the prices. My driver raced ahead and sure enough we found a plunger. Not a very good plunger, but nonetheless, it was a plunger.

My total bill, of which the plunger was the most expensive item at 1.62 USD was approximately 3 USD and included some brown sugar, 2.5 liters of coke, and 1 liter of beer… not bad for the two hour saga we had been through.

And so, what lessons have we learned today? First, close all of the doors when the boys go to bed. Second, don’t underestimate your ability to communicate, even if a direct translation doesn’t exist. (I'm having this exact discussion with our marketing consultant.) Lastly, don’t let small things cause you to have a Shanglow day (as it was described to me). And at the same time, don’t let small things cause you to have a Shanghigh day – survival here will be predicated on trying (while very difficult) to keep an even keel through it all.

On to a few other things since I haven’t blogged in a while. The other expats here are great. Everyone is in the same boat, and they all remember what it was like to be new. So helpful, friendly, and concerned that you make the transition OK. The business contacts have also been really nice. This place is incredibly dynamic, and right now at least, I’m enjoying it very much.

Joys of Parenting

Today began as most days do for us—early. We had a short morning at the house, as we were heading to Gubei’s Carrefour and the City Supermarket—both at least 40 minutes away, and so we had to leave early. Of course we were not up longer than about 30 minutes when the joyful moments of parenting began—Danny, who is working on finishing up potty training, took a step back after having a successful day yesterday. After dealing with that situation, I had to quickly call our cable company back home (they charged our credit card erroneously for the month of March and then proceeded to tell me that they were going to keep our money for another 6-8 weeks before sending us a check—gotta love Comcast—terrible service and they take your money too!). Once off the phone with them, I had to clear up a fake charge that hit my business credit card that I have not used since 2007. Thankfully, American Express has quality customer service and were actually a delight to talk to on the phone. It was quickly resolved and I was on to face the upcoming shopping.
Normally, I do not mind shopping, not even grocery shopping, but the travel time to and from has become an issue as Josh has taken to screeching in the car at a very high pitch. This normally would not bother me too much as I could ignore it in my own car, however, with the driver I feel pressure to have the kids behave at all times.
Thankfully, the driving to the store went extremely well as did the trip home again. The shopping also went well, and I was able to find a lot of items that I had wanted to get. (I even found a squirt bottle—I was searching for one to fix the boys’ hair in the morning). I had wanted to take the boys out for lunch as we were getting back a little late. Yet, with the driver I was unsure what he would do for lunch (as he does not eat many of the places the kids would like) and then there is also the difficulty of the language barrier. So, I decided we would put the food away and go to the clubhouse for lunch. This worked out great except for that the wait for the food was long and Josh was hungry and tired (a few more incidents of high pitched screeching). Thankfully, overall the boys behaved very well and the staff was kind enough to bring the boys’ food out first.
Danny waved to a women and her son (10th grade) across the room, and when they were finished they came over to talk to us. They were so very nice and said that if we needed anything to give them a call or e-mail. They were from Detroit and her husband had gone to Purdue. They have lived here two years and will be leaving in July. This is actually their second assignment as they were in Malaysia some time before. She also works at the American School. She handed us her card and I was excited to see it was actually the family’s card. Apparently, the Racquet Club creates cards for its members so you can easily exchange your information.
After lunch we headed back to the apartment for naps and ran into one of the other lady’s I had met at the park. It was so nice to meet a new friendly individual and also have someone else say hello as well. I got the boys settled for naps and began working on pictures of the apartment. They were at first talking and laughing but then became quiet. I was relieved that they had finally fallen asleep. As I was working on the pictures, I heard what I thought was a toilet seat fall down. I also thought I heard the boys talking once again. I went into their room to find out what was going on, but found they were not in their beds, or on the floor near their beds. I called out for the boys as I know that they did not leave their room. Danny voice called back happily that they in the bathroom. He said it just as happy as can be, as if this is where all boys that should be taking naps go to play and it is perfectly acceptable. When I open the door, I am faced with total destruction of the bathroom. There is water on the floor as well as wet pieces of toilet paper all over the floor and cabinets. They are both wet and I am not sure if Josh has had his head in the toilet or not. It is clear that they have taken all the paper from the toilet paper roll and been shoving it down the toilet and then flushing it repeatedly. As I stare at them and the mess in front of me, the only thought I can think of is that Josh could have drowned in the toilet. The second thought I have is how to clean up the mess. We have no mop (except the one we used to wax the floor) and more importantly we have no plunger. Needless to say, I got as much cleaned up as I could, closed all the doors, stuck them back in bed and called Dustin. (Look for part two in this saga—Dustin’s entry to see how this resolved)
Overall, this incident today has brought me back again to giving thanks to God—first and foremost that he kept the boys safe during their fun with the toilet and second for His grace, which through His grace I may be able to better handle the situation should something similar arise in the future (let’s just leave it at that the neighbors probably know what my voice sounds like at this point), and for God’s faithfulness in allowing us opportunities each of these past few days to meet individuals who are not just warm and welcoming, but are willing to help total strangers in whatever way they can.

More Park Time and Meeting more People

Today we spent the day without the car. Dustin worked from home and had a business meeting at the clubhouse. The boys and I, as the weather was the best it had been so far, spent the morning at the park. We hit the two farthest parks and had a great time walking between them all. At the last park, I ran into one of the lady's I had met the night before. I was able to talk to her for a little longer and found out she was from Minneapolis. One of the great hints that she gave me is that the Carrefour that we shop at has a web site that you can order food to be delivered to your house. The best part is there is no fee for this to be done. After this park, we headed home for lunch and naps.
After naps we invited Dustin to take a break and we all headed over to the clubhouse to get an ice cream cone. This was a good idea except that Josh wanted one for himself (he was sharing mine) and would fuss everytime I took it away from him. After the ice cream cone, Dustin headed back to the house to work and we continued on to the park behind our house. Our friends from the previous day were not there, but I was able to meet a nice women from Denmark. Her son had a tractor similar to one we have at home and I felt so bad when Danny said we need to bring ours here (knowing that this is extremely unlikely). Kathryn has been living here for 10 years, so there is no telling when or how she got this riding toy. On our way home, I ran into another of the women from yesterday. She was heading to the playground and I had such an urge to turn around and go back, but I thought that would be really silly. I am sure I will have plenty of time to get to know them better. (Her daughter will be going to school with Danny in the fall).
We ended the evening with dancing to our I-pod (I am sure our neighbors love us as we had it fairly loud) and then headed upstairs for baths. Upon trying to draw the bath, I found there was no hot water. Dustin called the office, and they assured us in an hour we would have hot water . As it was already late, we put the boys to bed with plans for a bath tomorrow. Tomorrow should be a full day as I am heading to the Gubei Carrefour (the largest that is somewhat near us--it is forty minutes away) and the City Supermarket (an import store--in search of brown sugar and some other incidentals from home).

Enjoying the nice weather and meeting new friends

Today was another beautiful day and the boys and I spent a good portion of it outside. We spent the morning talking with grandparents and then went to the park. Today was a little different as Dustin left later this morning (he had to get a special receipt from Danny's school for this fall and he went to pick out knives that would actually cut something--our previous set was extremely inexpensive and needless to say you could tell--they cut hardly anything). Since Dustin left later, we decided that I would go to the grocery store when he got home (by the time the car would have returned in the morning, it would have been close to lunch and naps for the boys).
The car came to get us at about 2pm so that we could shop and the car could return to pick up Dustin at a reasonable time. Thankfully, I am getting a little accustomed to the store, but it is still hard to find some items (mostly because they do not have it to sell). On our way to the store, Dustin called to say he was going to need to buy a printer once we got home. So, Dustin left once we arrived home to go with the driver to get the printer. We decided that before Dustin left that the boys and I would go to the park while he was gone and we would just order pizza for dinner (we saw that our neighbors had done this, and so Dustin copied the number down as he drove past).
At the park there were a lot of kids and mothers. Danny was focused almost completely on a group of kids that were about his age playing with an older boy (games like tag and chase). I kept encouraging him to go over and ask if he could play with them (the older boy kept looking in our direction and he was extremely caring to the younger children). Danny mentioned that he felt a little sick to his stomach (his first butterflies), so he kept watching them, but did not go over or play on the equipment. Finally, when they came close to us I brought Danny over and introduced him to the group. A mother took notice and called her son out of the group and made him introduce himself to Danny. Danny quickly went off (they were playing in the grass adjacent to the group of moms) and had a blast. Some of the women came over and introduced themselves to me and asked how long I had been there. They were all extremely nice and I found out that two of them were from Ohio. Shortly after we all sort of disbanded to our own homes for dinner time.
Upon reaching our apartment I placed the call to the pizza place and thanked God that they spoke English (we have found that the shops close to our house have some English speaking workers as there are so many expatriate communities surrounding the shops). I was happy to find there was no charge for delivery and the price was reasonable. I was also found the connection for our Ipod and was able to connect it up and play some music. Dustin arrived home to find us singing to music and getting ready to eat our pizza. It was great to feel more connected with people here in the community and to have some comforts (like pizza and American music) from home as well.

Our First Guest

Today was an absolute joy as we were blessed with the unexpected company of one of Dustin's friends from college, Colin MacAlpine. Dustin and Colin sang together in the Purdue Glee Club. Colin just happened to be in town on business and had Sunday free in Shanghai. We invited him to come to church with us and then out to dinner afterwards (church here is either 2pm or 4pm--we chose the 4pm now because it has the nursery as well as the class for Danny).
Getting to church was unreal. The traffic was crazy and even though we left 75 minutes before the service, we made it just in time to get the kids into their classes and ourselves into our seats. Thankfully, Colin had not been waiting long. We will have to leave at least an hour or more ahead of time next week.
This was my first time to actually sit through the entire service (we went to the 2pm last week and I spent most of it outside with Josh) and I was so excited. The congregation is a huge mix of people from all over the world and as Dustin has written before, gives you a small glimpse of what heaven must look like. Both the boys had a wonderful time in their classes. I laughed as I picked up Josh because I was told "he really likes fish crackers" and was then warned by a second worker that he may not eat his dinner. (He had been eating on the way to church as well, so maybe he is either having another growth spurt--or completely addicted to carbs).
We headed just a little farther in town to eat at Tony Romas--it has fantastic ribs and just all around American food. Dinner was fun to catch up with Colin and find out about his family. Thankfully the boys were fairly well behaved. We decided, as Colin was feeling pretty good with the jet lag, to take Colin to see the Bund (this is the part of Shanghai where most of the foreign buildings from long ago are located--beautiful architecture--and it is all lit up at night) and Pudong (Shanghai's section east of the river and closest to the ocean. We live on the west side of the river called Puxi. Pudong is where all the new modern buildings are being built and is the financial hub of the city. It is also beautiful in the night as two large skyscrapers light up with different pictures such as the Mona Lisa and with pictures of flowers and fish).
Unfortunately our first drive past the Bund was hindered by construction in the area. Shanghai is hosting the World's fair next spring and is diligently working to get ready. Our second pass through brought better sights and you could really see the buildings. We had our drivers take us across to Pudong and they let us off to walk close to the river. Here Danny got to see the tourist boats along the river that were all lit up and also the large cargo ships coming into port. He had a wonderful time and it was fun to show Colin some of the city he normally does not have a change to see while on business.
We dropped Colin off at his hotel and said goodbye until the next time he might be in Shanghai. We traveled back out to our house--we have found that we are actually quite out in the country compared to the rest of the city. The boys, as it was well past their bedtimes, fell asleep in the car. Overall, we had a great evening and we were so pleased to be able to go from explorers of the city to hosts of the city.

A Beautiful Saturday

After skyping with the grandparents (such a fantastic invention that has really made us feel we are closer than we actually are), we decide to take the boys for a walk to the bakery located just outside of our community--I am also intent on visiting Starbucks which is also right outside our community because I am exhausted this morning. The walk is just fantastic as it is in the high 40s today and sunny with fairly clear skies. The walk is not too far and Danny enjoys doing most of it himself (we brought his stroller just in case). The bakery which is called "The Delicious Bakery", is actually true to its name. They have mouth watering pastries--some we are familiar with and others that are a little different. Danny and I decide on donuts and Dustin gets a bread with bacon and cheese on it. We leave the bakery and head around the corner and across the street to the Starbucks (these shops are directly across the street from the entrance into our community). There are a lot of foreigners in the coffee shop and I quickly get my favorite. We decide to head to the park back in our community since the weather is so great. Along the way, Dustin stops at a flower shop (they have all their flowers in little buckets outside) and buys flowers for me. We are both so amazed at the reasonable price for the fresh flowers. I can already envision this as our Saturday morning ritual--this is going to spoil me for when we come back home.
The park is a lot of fun with the boys. We do not stay long because we have to get the flowers in water and it is close to lunch. After lunch, we put the boys down for their naps and Dustin and I work on cleaning up the house. The dust, as I mentioned previously, is crazy so we both work at attacking it. We also carry up an extra table from downstairs and I work on setting up the trains and train track we brought from home. Danny is going to be so excited to see it. The house, now clean, is starting to feel like it is coming together. We just have to get some pictures bought and up and some accessories and we will be all set.
This evening should be low key, and we then head to church tomorrow. I am looking forward to going at the later service time so we are able to put Josh in the nursery. I will then be able to enjoy the service past the singing portion.

Exploring and Cooking up a Storm

Today we again left the house early heading this time directly to the B&Q. It is raining, so the drivers are very contentious to make sure we are close to the store and they hold umbrellas over us the whole way. (I laugh to myself because it is as if they think we may melt if rain hits us. I guess they do not realize that at home we would run into the store, regardless of the weather, from a much farther distance, dressed just the same, but minus the umbrellas. It is sweet though how protective they are of the children and me). As soon as we enter the B&Q I realize that what they meant by a home store is really a Home Depot or Lowes. It is hard to explain to them that we need to now leave the store and get back in the car, as I was looking for throw pillows and accessories for the house (all the effort to get into the store, now only to leave moments after arriving).
After B&Q we head over to the Carefour in the other local district. One of the drivers is trying to talk to me in English about the next store and the rain. I am not sure if he is saying that we will try and park in a garage, or whether he is asking if I want to cancel the trip due to the rain. Again, I am amazed with the issue of the rain. I cannot figure out why they are so concerned about a little rain--maybe it is because my coat does not have a hood like the boys. I try to explain I must go to the store as I am hopeful we are able to find pull ups in Danny's size (he is still struggling with finishing up potty training). The past couple times I have gone to the store they only have the girl's ones in his size. The Carefour in the other district is a larger store and I hope they will carry more product. We continue on and they are able to pull into a garage and we can avoid the rain all together.
As we travel through the store I am able to get some of the incidentals that I still need--i.e.--basket for my potatoes, another wastebasket, an alarm clock (thankfully our cell phones have alarm clocks in them and this is what we have been using so far). We get to the pull up section and they again do not have his size. I am able to ask the ladies in the aisle (they have workers in almost every aisle, sometimes more than one person--this aisle has 3 girls whose responsibility is assist you. I figure this is a throw back to when everything was state owned and China provided a job to everyone in their populous country--on this note, there are always people at every store, restaurant etc. whose sole job is to open the door and greet you. Another interesting sight is the people standing at attention at the entrance to an office parking lot--they all stand on little boxes--i.e.--there are steps to get up to the top of the little box, sometimes even with little movies theater ropes around them, and if they are really lucky they get a glass box that surrounds them--I often wonder as we drive by seeing these people all over town how long they must stand there at abrupt attention). The ladies in the aisle tell me they do not have anymore in his size, and direct me to the Chinese brand. In an act of desperation, because the next Carefour is at least 40 minutes away, I take the ones offered. We check out and I again forgot to bring our bags. (In China, they are really trying to cut down on plastic bags, so the actual law says you must bring your own or purchase the stores reusable bags) I am grateful they let me put the items in the baskets I am buying, as I already have plenty of bags at home. They must think I am an unaware foreigner.
After getting home and getting lunch (Josh pulls the same move as last night, but this time over cheetos--he has to be getting hungry at this point), I put the boys down for a nap. This afternoon I have devoted to cooking, so I get started. First I am trying to make a chicken stock (as this is imported and very expensive otherwise) and then also homemade spaghetti sauce for tonight's meal (also imported if I do not make it--plus it is canned and I do not care for the taste compared to the jarred sauce at home). I have made the sauce before we came, but always using canned tomatoes as the base. Today, it will be truly from scratch. I am dropping the tomatoes into boiling water to remove their skins and then cutting them up myself to create the base of the sauce. I was able to bring over a Sam's quantity of tomato paste to help thicken the sauce. While I am cooking the person meant to deliver my new stand mixer keeps calling on my cell phone and saying they are close. I think they must be completely lost because hours pass with no mixer. I am able to finish both my recipes before the boys wake up. Just as the deliverer calls to say they are in the lobby, the boys wake up. I race upstairs and get them up and then return downstairs to find that the person has not arrived. (I entered the code required to allow them into the building, but no one is coming up the elevator--this is just outside our front door, so I had just opened it with the boys to greet the delivers when they got off on our floor) About 15 minutes later Dustin arrives and still no mixer, plus he says that no one is in the lobby at all. Finally, the person calls on our house phone and I am able to let them into the building. I am really excited about the mixer as I love to bake (a hard thing to do in this country as finding the ingredients are proving difficult). I am thrilled to find out that we were correct that the mixer is actually four things in one--a mixer, blender, food processor and juicer (It was a little unclear at Bestbuy whether the model we bought had them included or you had to buy the attachments separate--remember only one person spoke broken English and the other workers were telling him what the machine did and what came with it). Another aspect I am really excited about is that it is European and therefore, instructions come in English (as well as every other European language you could think of--the manuals are huge for just two pages of real instruction).
Everyone enjoys the pasta (even Josh--I knew he would be famished by dinner) and the boys and I head to the play room while Dustin works for a little longer. Today was long but satisfying and we are looking forward to the weekend, when we can relax around the house and enjoy one another's company.

The Exploration Begins

Today the boys and I headed out early to go to the mall close to our house which contains the Carefour I have been using. The grocery stores are not stand alone like ours at home, they are contained in a large multi-floor complex that has a lot of other little stores and sometimes some large stores as well. The one that is close to our house has two other large stores--Decathalon--a sporting goods store like Dicks and B&Q which Dustin was told is a home store. I am hopeful to get our groceries, explore the small stores, and also see the B&Q. As we enter the mall, I decide to explore one of the toy stores. We left a lot of the toys for the boys at home, and we are hopeful that over time we can get them some trucks and fire engines like they have at home (we only brought some of their small toys and books). I am also on a search for some toys for them to ride on the patio and around the community.
I was so excited on entering the store because I walked right into a stroller section. They had a wide array from pricy to very reasonable and along the lines of what I was looking to buy the other day. I am going to go back another day (maybe without the drivers trailing me, as I always feel like I cannot just take my time with them present) and compare the strollers more closely. As I walk by the stroller section I run into the sippy cups that the boys use. I think I actually squealed with joy. The drivers must think I am either a shopaholic (because so far that is all they have seen me do) or just simply crazy. I thought I was going to have to wait until June when we got into the States to get a second cup for Josh, so I was really thrilled by this find. It is really a nice store for being so small and the prices are fairly reasonable.
After the toy store we head to do the grocery shopping. I need the rest of the food for my meals this week and more milk. I can only buy milk in a small quart size, which is partly why I spend most days at the grocery store. The Carefour here does not carry much of the cleaning items I wanted to pick up and so we are able to move quickly through the store.
By the point we leave Carefour Josh is getting restless and the drivers are not comprehending my attempt at saying I would like to look at the B&Q store, so we decide to head home for the day. I quickly put the boys down to nap after lunch, and try and catch some rest myself. There is nothing on TV here unless you are like Dustin and love the financial channels (MSNBC and Bloomberg). I find that they are replaying the movie the Pursuit of Happiness, and start to realize that for each month they just recycle the same few programs they have on hand.
Dinner went extremely well in regards to making it--I decided on hamburgers and homemade french fries (these are not available prepackaged here). Josh on the other hand who leans toward being more strong willed, spent his entire meal trying to convince me first with smiles and then with crying and carrying on that he should be allowed to eat just the french fries without the hamburger (this began when Danny finished his hamburger and was allowed to eat french fries--Josh figured that he should be able to do the same even though he had most of his hamburger left to eat). It was quite amazing, in a psychological way, to watch him process through everything. He clearly understood what I was saying to him as he would bring the hamburger to his mouth, but then never put it in. He even tried to hide some down in the side of his chair. I think if I was not so tired, the whole thing would have been quite humerous. Needless to say some hamburger was eaten, but he went to bed without much dinner.
Dustin arrived home safely and I allowed Danny to stay up and spend some time with him. Tomorrow we are going to try and see the B&Q and go to the other Carefour shopping mall that is a little farther away.

Relaxing day at Home

Today was just what the boys and I needed after such a frustrating day yesterday--we stayed home and did nothing but play. It was a cloudy day but no rain, so I promised them a trip to the park. After a relaxing morning, we went to the clubhouse to mail some cards. We will see how long they take to make it to the United States. We also dropped off Danny's application for preschool in the fall. He will start in August at the school right here in the community. This will be ideal because it is extremely close, and has a good program. Danny will be going half days, except for three days in which he will stay longer to go swimming (he loves to swim), cooking (he loves to cook) and art (surprise--he loves this as well). I am so excited for him and so gratful that we will not have to travel an hour back and forth to the other school we had found.

After putting in the application we went to the other playground in the compound. It is the furtherest from our building, but we found that it is in sand, making it a giant sand box area for the kids. Danny loves to play in the sand, and I am excited for when the weather really gets warm and we can track down some sand toys for him. After playing at the park for awhile, we head back for naps. I scroll through the news to try and get caught up and do some laundry, dishes and dusting (did I mention the dust here is unreal--all helped by our dark wood floors that have this high gloss that shows every piece of dust and spill--Josh still enjoys tossing everything, so its a lot to pick up--however, better than carpet). After naps the boys and I play and relax. Dustin is in Shenzen and will be home tomorrow evening. After the boys are tucked in for the night, I find the movie Pursuit of Happiness with Will Smith on TV and snuggle in to watch the movie. It is one I have wanted to see for a long time, but never had the time before. It is sort of funny that I had to come to China to be able to watch it. It is thankfully in English with Chinese subtitles. Tomorrow we are off to explore our local mall and get groceries for the weekend.

The Frustration of Shopping

Today we left early to pick up our health screens so someone from Dustin's office can send it to the proper authorities. (The health screens are required as part of allowing us to stay here longer than a visitor). We made great time down there and were able to pick them up with ease. Our only mishap happened when Danny had to go to the bathroom. It of course was a squat pot and he accidentally slipped and his foot fell in the pot. Thankfully, he had not gone yet, and they kept this bathroom relatively clean. We then (soggy foot and all) headed quickly to the Bestbuy to purchase my stand mixer. I love to bake and this is the only place that sells such a thing.
We decide to park in the mall parking, as we were going to look at strollers and pick up a few things for Danny to play with from Toys r Us. We got up in the mall only to find out it was not open and that we also had no apparent way out. We finally realize what the security was trying to tell us—go down an escalator that connects to the subway and then up the subway stairs to the street. We did this and then traveled over a huge walking bridge to get to the Bestbuy. (The street is so large, they do not let you cross it, you must go over it). The interesting fact about this bridge is that there is an escalator that takes you up, but only stairs to take you down. So every time we had to go down, Dustin had to lug Josh down in the stroller. We arrived at Bestbuy to find out that it was not opened yet. Thankfully there was a McDonald’s close and we waited there (after Dustin had to lug Josh down the steps) for the Bestbuy to open. Purchasing the mixer was quite the experience. It took us two hours (this is with devoted staff helping us from minutes after we arrived to the time we left). There were three models at prices that would make you weep they were so expensive. I obviously settled on the lowest of the costing models. It comes (we believe) with many different attachments and was not in stock so it will be shipped on Friday to the house. Thankfully there was a nice man working with us that spoke limited English and was able to answer questions of how it worked (very basically—thankfully the machine had pictures on it that we could reference) Then it took another hour and a half to check out. First they had to track it down in another store, then they had the number wrong, then I have no idea what happened. Finally, we were on our way and the children amazingly, had been great throughout it all.
We headed next over to the other mall and looked for a place to have lunch. We again found our staple of Papa Johns and ordered what has become our usual. Tipping is not allowed in China and I am not sure if it is a direct result, but service is terrible. (As in it would be easier and faster for you to go into the kitchen and make it yourself and get your own drink, etc). To give them some credit I do believe our waitress may have been new, and we finally followed suit with the other customers of just calling out to anyone walking by to ask for what we needed.
After leaving the restaurant we went in search of more sippy cups and strollers. I looked at a glorified umbrella stroller that I had seen at Babies r us before we left for $60 and was shocked and dismayed to find that on sale it was well over $200. As I cannot possibly bring myself to pay that much for it, I pushed Josh out in our bright orange umbrella stroller and silently pray it will hold up until he can walk. My search for sippy cups were also frustrated as they only had ones that I know Josh will not use. I will have to try and broaden my search hopefully in a cheaper mall (i.e.--the stores in this mall are all high end as in Versace).
We were able to pick up a Thomas train for Danny and playdoh, so it was not all a loss. Overall, the day was long—we started at 7:30 and did not arrive home until 4pm, but it ends on a good note of that the boys are happy and we are able to cook a decent meal. I figure it will take us a while to get this shopping thing down. It is hard not being able to enter a super store and get what you want quickly and at a good price. All stores (even in the malls) are small shops and you are forced to go from one to another. Tomorrow is a new day, one that should be relaxing as we are not leaving the community. Dustin is traveling to Shenzen and will return on Thursday night after dinner.

Beautiful day for the Park

Well, this morning I awoke feeling stressed and shaky. I ended up determining that I was stressed about going to the store with our new driver Tom. He is a very kind man, but does not speak any English and I of course speak no Chinese. Last shopping trip we had Driver Victor who speaks some English, so he was able to help me a lot. One helpful thing is that we are going back to the same store, so I have a general layout of where things are located. Dustin helped me with some basics that I wrote down on a cheat sheet. This made me feel better and once I realized I could always call him and put him or someone from his office on the phone. I determined my shakiness was due to a lack of calories/food. Both Dustin and I seem to be unable to fulfill this right now regardless of what we eat.
The store actually went really well, --except for not being able to find some items like pull-ups in Danny’s size etc… I was able to make my way around and somewhat communicate with Driver Tom. My great success of the day was trying to convey to him using my phone program that I wanted to buy nail polish remover (Carefour did not have it). After a couple of minutes of trying different words and going back and forth, he finally realized what I was asking for and asked a local women. She directed us downstairs to a hair salon. Thankfully, the nail polish remover was right on the wall and I could point to it and pay. We came home to have lunch and naps. While the boys napped, two men came to finish off the chairs that did not have any legs to them in our master bedroom. They also worked on the dining room table. They had brought stain and worked on fixing spots that were dinged. They took such care in getting every spot, I was really appreciative as these spots were driving me mad.
After naps the boys and I went to find out about the school and pick up a lamp that was waiting at the front desk. It was beautiful outside, so we decided to get an ice cream cone and eat it on the way to the park. Even Josh enjoyed eating some of it. The parks were filled with kids playing and there was even a father playing baseball with his two kids. It really was a wonderful sight. Dustin came home early and took Danny out to the McDonald’s near our house (he has been craving some one on one time with each of us). Danny came home all excited because he got a Madagascar Lion (from the movie) that speaks Chinese. We of course have no idea what it says, but it is still fun. Tomorrow Dustin and I have decided to try and get my mixer after we pick up our health screens as the store is near the clinic.

Reminder of God's Provision Even in the Small Stuff

Today we had a quiet morning before church and left about 11:30 to head to Pu Dong (East side of the river of Shanghai—we live on the west side of the river) Traffic was crazy with accidents and just slow downs. We arrived and ate lunch at Papa Johns (our new stable of food). Church began at 2:00. This service unfortunately did not have nursery, so Josh stayed with us while Danny went to Sunday school class. We sat in front of a nice couple (American) she was is from California and he was from Michigan. I am not sure if they met once in China or before they came to China. They have been in China for 5 years, first in Beijing and now in Shanghai. She was so sweet and said they were going to be moving to the community right next to ours shortly. She happens to work at the American School (I have been worried about getting Danny into preschool here as we have heard there are long wait lists and many kids do not even get into it. Danny would not start here until 2010 due to his birthday being right after the cutoff date). In our conversations she explained that she was actually in admissions, and that we would not have any trouble at all in getting Danny in at the school. She also indicated that the school right in our compound (which Dustin and I were now leaning toward putting Danny into due to the enormous travel time getting to the other school we had found--nearly 2 hours total travel time) was excellent and that a whole little group of them come from the SRC school and start preschool at the American school together. This just reminded me of God's amazing provision and how he cares about even the smallest details in our lives. As she was moving close, she asked for my information, and hopefully we will be able to get together once she as relocated.
The rest of the day went quickly and we tried our mystery fish from the store. All I could tell at the store was it was a white fish. Dustin and I both believe after eating it that it was a catfish. I had pan fried it, so it came out pretty good. The big success was that both the boys ate it. Tomorrow is going to be interesting as Dustin is going into work and the driver will return to take me to the grocery store.

Fisrt Birthday in China

Today I turned 32. It was a little hard to be away from family and friends, but Dustin, the boys and the drivers (we have two now--driver Tom, who will be our driver from now on, and his trainer driver Vincent--Tom only needs a trainer because he just moved to the City from Shenzen and does not know it well) greeted me with many well wishes.
We headed out early this morning in our attempt to go to IKEA and Carefour for more items and be back by 3pm for the painter. Dustin found a new Starbucks near our house, and had the drivers take me there first thing. I was so happy, mostly because I was exhausted as we have not been able to find coffee to brew at home, and because the Starbucks is within walking distance to our community. (I can get exercise and get my coffee fix).
We arrived at the IKEA to find out that we were too early, so we went over to the Carefour in Gubei (we were planning on going to a different one later). We were able to find such items as our electric toothbrush, and a mattress pad and towels. Dustin and I were so happy to have the mattress pad as the bed is literally like sleeping on a rock--there is absolutely no give at all. Interestingly, the sofas and chairs are the same way--stuffed to the point that there is no cushion or give to it. The drivers explained that this is a sign of wealth--i.e.--you can afford more stuffing, so it is worth more.
After loading the car to its almost maximum level, we headed over to IKEA. We were able to pick up more hangers, wastebaskets, and kitchen items here. We also stopped to get another hot dog for lunch. Danny was given a ceramic flute type instrument from a nice Chinese man (fairly well to do for chinese stardards). When we finished with IKEA we headed home to drop off an exhausted Dustin (he just loves to shop so much) to do work and wait for the painter. The boys, drivers and I continued on to the Carefour near our house. This Carefour is the closest and we are able to take just surface streets to get to it. I was quite pleased with the trip and feel that I will be able to manage in the stores without Dustin's ability to speak limited Chinese. The drivers were extremely nice and helped entertain the boys, locate items in the store and helped me to put produce and meats into bags.
When we arrived home, flowers had been sent to me from one of Dustin's co-workers that I had met when she traveled to the US last July. They are beautiful pink roses and star gazers with other extremely fragrant white flowers (not sure what these are). As the painter was still working, and the floors and other surfaces in the house were covered in dust, the boys and I bundled up and went to the park. On our way out of the building we met a nice women and her daughter. They welcomed us to the building and were very friendly. Danny enjoyed taking the paths that wind their way to the park (and throughout the community). They go up and down and curve all over. Danny also enjoyed playing at the park and we got to see a lot of kids coming home from school with their moms or Ayi (translated Auntie--means maid--extremely common here as their salary is extremely inexpensive and it helps families learn the language better).
By the time we got home the walls were finally looking normal--no hole or nail every two feet or crazy stickers. We went to dinner at the clubhouse or as Danny called it--my birthday party. We rode the elevator down with another one of our neighbors, from Finland. He was heading to the clubhouse to pick up his 9 year old daughter from gymnastics class.
The clubhouse was great to see on a Friday night, as there were families everywhere. Kids were hanging out with their friends and parents were standing around or sitting visiting with each other. It looked like a barbecue at a friends house, nothing like a fancy tennis club. We had a nice meal returning to the house for ice cream cake Dustin picked up for me from Dairy Queen, and presents of delicious smelling bath products. (Dustin told me later that he had the drivers take him all over yesterday in search of a birthday gift--I guess thedrivers were a little confused until he told them he was looking for something for my birthday).
Overall, it was a better birthday than I expected, and filled with love from my wonderful husband, and boys and phone calls and skyping with family.

Cleaning Diva and the Chinese Workers

Yeah! The boys finally slept through the night, and they are back on a normal schedule. I am amazed that in less than a week they have adjusted to the new time zone. Today Dustin went to work for a full day, while the boys and I stayed at the apartment. We had workers coming to fix various issues that were not completed before we moved in, and a security team coming to check the apartment.
I began my day shifting back into the role of dishes (we have been eating out a lot previously--even before we came to China) and laundry (this was reaching a critical level) and continuing to try and put the house together. Thankfully, Josh slept a long time in the morning and I was able to get a fair amount started before all the workers arrived. I am not sure what I pictured for this morning, but it was insane. At one point I had two boys running and crawling around, one worker pulling down stickers (huge spiderman stickers left on the wall from the previous renter) and nails from our walls, another worker working on the windows (some of them were not closing properly), and two men for the compound doing a security check. Remember, none of these men speak a word of English except, hello. I did fairly well guessing what they were saying and also explaining what I wanted to have done. I did use my new program on my phone to explain to one of the workers that the dishwasher and part of the stove were not working. He promptly got on the phone and called someone. Shortly after I had two more men looking at the stove and dishwasher and trying to explain through sign language what to do and how to fix it. The workers did not leave until well after lunch time, and I hurriedly tired to get the boys down for the naps. Josh was so tired he was going around to every blanket or cushion he could find and putting his head down. The one worker will return tomorrow to paint all the walls that he had to patch (which unfortunately is most of them). The previous renters definitely liked a lot of wall art. I was able to relax a little and was quite amused to find Oprah (granted a very old episode on TV).
It will be nice to have another dinner at home tonight. I am going to try pork chops and baked potato.