breaking it down to Chinese rap...

Jackie has once again given you the overview below. I’ll do my best to add a little color commentary…

At the Yu Yuan garden tourist trap (the actual garden is a smaller area in the middle you have to pay to get in), there is plenty to be had in terms of culinary delights – DQ, Starbucks, mystery meat on a stick, mystery meat in a bowl, mystery meat just wrapped in paper, and so on. Needless to say, we went with the more familiar route of McDonald’s.

Just so you know, McDonald’s is the same everywhere, except for what should be an apple filled turnover is actually filled with fish eggs, or something like fish eggs. I think they got that idea from the dumpling place around the corner that serves” Glorious Steam Dumpling Filled with the Digestive Track and Ovary of the Crab”. Leave it to the Americans to dull it down and put it in a little box…

Anyway, I ordered two double pounders and two kids meals. My wonderful dictionary on my phone stopped working, and I didn’t have confidence in how to say milk, so we all got Coke. Good thing because their “medium” gives you a coke that would pass as kids size in the US. (Jackie and I consumed all four cokes, but I’ll get to that in a minute.)

So, the entertainment value for the locals continued in McD’s. We were obviously being watched like fish in a bowl (which I couldn’t say at the time for fear I’d send Danny back into hysterics regarding the aquarium) or monkeys in the zoo. The music in the McD’s had to be at near rock concert levels – seriously, Jackie and I had to shout at each other across the 2 foot table they provide. I’m sure our loud English only added to the humor for the locals. (Note, I think the music is so loud so that you don’t stay long – not enough seats for lengthy eating – and did I mention that Danny eats at the pace of a slug?)

So, about the time I had tuned the din around me out, I noticed Josh. We was happily playing peek a eat a bite with his food (where he eats a piece, puts it back in the bag, only to pull it out again and be tickled that there is food in the bag – oh to be a kid again!)

The scene in front of my eyes is a bit difficult to describe. I wish I had a video camera with me, but here is my feeble attempt. Imagine that hitch type walk that rappers do on the music videos. You know, where they bob their head up and down in time with the music? Well, there was Josh, doing the toddler equivalent – to Chinese rap.

So, I mimic him a bit. What does he do – what any self respecting toddler does when they get attention – turn it up a notch… Before long Jackie has her head back in laughter as Josh and I are breaking it down. We even moved our hands back and forth a bit to simulate a DJ on his disks, mixing it down for the pleasure of our audience.

Out of all of the trouble we had this day (and it was nontrivial, I tell you), this little 3 minute moment was enough to make our day – this was an experience that we could never have in the USA… and one we will cherish forevermore.

So, I did go and get milk for the boys (after removing the battery and hard resetting my phone). What is interesting to me is how people who see foreigners regularly still get a kick out of one who can say a sentence in Chinese, and carry on a basic conversation. The one girl who was manning the register was soon surrounded by 4 others all eager to hear me butcher their language. When it was all said and done, they asked me where I was from… seems to be a rather normal way to end an encounter here. I would have thought my accent would give it away (or my dress), but I guess all of us foreigners sound the same.